Reminiscence
by a.kingsly
Summary: Remus. Tonks. The Lupin family. Hidden stories about our favourite characters.
1. Chapter 1 Lily's letter

Chapter 1 Lily's letter

 _1981._

Lily put her little son to the crib very carefully. It was dark in the room, but she noticed the sky and the dim of stars, glittering under the curtains. Harry had slept soundly and didn't wake when mum wrapped him. His toys were silent, securing the child's dream.

Lily admired Harry, examining son in the moonlight. His dark hair disheveled on the pillow, his breathing smooth, his face filled with serenity. In spite of them, noisy grown-ups, he forgot about all the troubles immediately, setting out to the distant countries he's never been.

She gave him the last glance and finally left the room. Stepping level down, Lily could hear James's and Sirius's muffled voices.

Lily stopped at the entrance to the kitchen. Best friends were sitting on the oak table, talking animatedly. Empty butter beer bottles reflected the fire, and bright lights shone in the dark of the kitchen.

Since Harry was born, everybody tried to be very quiet in the evenings. It became a habit. Harry has been sleeping level up and couldn't hear any noise, but Sirius kept whispering, bowing his head to James instinctively.

Lily lent her ears.

'Listen to me, James, we can still change the plan…'

Potter shook his head.

'I've already said to Dumbledore we're choosing you. You're my best friend, Padfoot…'

'Precisely!' Black interrupted. He threw back his hair, taking a deep breath and preparing for a new battle. There were some wild shine in Sirius's eyes, his special thrill.

'Everybody knows that. So Voldemort does!'

Black punched himself in his chest desperately.

'I'll never betray you, and I'm going to lie in hiding too, but we should do everything to protect you…'

A shiver passed over James's face. He has been very depressed since the day they started to hide. Staying at one place was too cruel. James was angry and exhausted at the same time. There was nothing easier than tick him off now. Potter was breathing without feeling air, he missed freedom, and every mention about it made him sick.

Sirius noticed that.

'Listen, I understand…'

He pat Prong's shoulder. Of course, Black would never know how to be locked in four walls. Sirius continued travelling and visiting different towns fulfilling the Order's tasks. Of course, he tried to encourage James, and made a long pause, waiting.

'If you choose me as a Secret Keeper', he said, 'that's gonna be too easy. If you change your mind, we will have an advantage. Choose Peter instead of me!'

Black said it in a louder tone, and turned his glance to the corridor immediately, afraid to hear Harry's cry. Lily smiled. She was amused by the fact that daring Sirius Black could be afraid of the little child.

Calming down, he turned to James again.

'Choose Peter, I'm pretty sure about him. He doesn't have nor courage or strength, and never be able to betray you. How such a nonentity as him can be capable of this…'

Sirius sniffed and made a mistake. Lily frowned. Black's notice about Peter really hurt her.

'If he's such a nonentity, how can we trust him?' she asked.

Sirius and James met her harsh glance. Potter looked confused; Sirius hung his head, hiding in his black long hair.

She made them ashamed, and everybody knew that.

'We've got a traitor, you know. Somebody is selling every step of yours to Voldemort. Peter is the best variant I know…'

Black seemed to calm Lily down, but the girl sparked.

'Remus is a good variant too. Why shouldn't we choose him?'

It was the question she wanted to ask for a very long time.

Sirius and James turned red. The shine in Padfood's eyes vanished. Lily knew what they were thinking about. This question hurt them, and guys turned into ashamed schoolboys again. There were some rumors about it, and, to her shock, Lily soon realized Sirius had suspended Remus to be the traitor. This idea sounded absurd to her. Kind, loyal, tactful Lupin was one of the best people she's ever met. At the same time Sirius's worries turned into paranoia, Lupin became his aim now. Padfood's suspicions transformed into conversations about werewolves and the side they had chosen.

Lily shook her head.

'He's your friend. Do you remember that?' she asked, and James and Sirius kept silent again. This silence made her sick. Lily looked at husband's eyes.

'You behave like cowards'. Lily, who had a talent to see something good in every person, was trying to shake them with these words. 'He's my friend too. I trust him my life as he trusts me, and I hope, you still remember you should never betray your friends'.

These words affected on James like a hit. He started back, as though he had got a slap in the face. They chatted about it behind Lupin's back while Remus still believed in their friendship. Sirius kept silent, and Lily seemed to be able to read his thoughts, dark and unpleasant.

Black turned back to James realizing he could loose in this glance battle.

'I believe Peter is the best choice and no one…'

Lily stepped back to the corridor, feeling anger. She came upstairs and closed the door to the bedroom, dividing herself from husband's and Sirius's voices.

Their live turned to be hide-and-sick. It has already become exhausting without disbelieves and betrayal. Lily was tired and felt empty inside because of it.

Of course, James gonna take Black's side, sooner or later. Sirius would make him choose Peter as their Secret Keeper. Well, she didn't worry about Wormy, she trusted him too. But Lily was offended, here was the fact. She was offended because of Remus, and there was nobody else except her to stand for him.

By the way, she hasn't written to Lupin for a while. They knew Remus was somewhere on North, working for Order. Lupin trusted Dumbledore completely. Lying on bed, Lily closed her eyes and imagined Lupin's kind mild smile. He wasn't the traitor, of course. He was just too busy to visit the Potters very often. In spite of James or Sirius, Evans and Lupin have always been friends. Lily remembered that, and was going to support Remus till the very end.

She could write him a letter, perhaps. Lily opened her eyes and found the calendar. Full moon expected to occur tomorrow, so she couldn't get an answer too quickly. Well, it was worth waiting. The idea of the letter encouraged Lily; the witch got up and sat on the little table. She took the paper, smoothing it out, and started to trace out the letter.

 _Dear Moony!_

 _I'm thinking of you. How are you? Haven't got any news from you for a while. I know, your work for the Order_

 _takes all the time, and the full moon is on its way… I just hope you're all right._

 _While you're busy, I'm going to tell you our little news. Harry grows up so fast! James and I can hardly watch_

 _over him trying to prevent any mischief he can manage. I predict, he's gonna be such a scamp! Harry is very_

 _much alike James; you'll see it when visit us next time. He even inherited James's hair, can you_ _imagine that?_

 _(Merlin, I hope he won't rumple it)_

Lily didn't hide a smile while writing it. Despite the constant fear and worries she was so happy to have Harry. He was a desired child, and Lily enjoyed every day they were spending together… Suddenly Lily decided to open her heart to Remus, and the witch continued writing.

 _I dream of the future time after time. I rate every moment we have together, but sometimes... it's silly, I know,_

 _but I'm dreaming of life we can have in the future. You may think I am crazy, but I believe we still have a chance,_

 _and we can go back to a normal life one day. I like to imagine the day when the nightmares vanish, I can see_ _our_

 _family getting stronger, and our friends gather just like in old times._

 _I hope you're fine, and there is nothing to trouble you (except the 'furry problem', of course)._

 _Please, visit us when you'll find a moment._

After some pause Lily decided to add something else too. It's Remus, and she could be frank with him. All Lily's secrets would be safe with Lupin... Yeah, she could write him something, something very touching, something to warm his lonely heart. Remus was so lonely, and gonna stay alone, perhaps. Yeah, he was lonely, but she wouldn't let him down.

 _Don't forget, we love you, Remus, and always welcome you in our house. Sirius became a godfather_

 _when Harry was born… he and James are hand in glove, of course, and Padfoot is so naughty… he's_

 _gonna be the worst godfather ever! May be, it's good we had a baby boy first. Sirius would never_ _be_

 _able to take care of the girl. We need somebody responsible and kind for such a difficult job._

 _When this nightmare is over and we have a child again (I dream to have a daughter next, as_ _you_

 _guessed), you'll be the only one choice to be a godfather for her. You may trust me as I_ _always trust you._

 _Wish you to get better soon. Write us, when you have a spare time._

 _Sincerely yours,_

 _Lily, James and Harry_

Lily felt joy while finishing the letter. May be, it appeared to be too frank, but the witch didn't worried about it already. Lily had shown all her feelings, all her thoughts in these words, and she was sure Lupin would be happy to get this note.

Lily reread the text and folded up the parchment carefully, preparing it for transporting. Then she woke up the sleepy owl, tied it on her paw, trying to do her best to fix the letter reliably.

… Lily Potter hadn't known yet she would never receive an answer from Remus. Voldemort would find them first, and Lily was going to turn into memory, just reminiscence, painful to remember.


	2. Chapter 2 Death

Chapter 2 Death

Wrapped in the road cloak, Remus was making his way to a partly wizarding village.

Muggles seemed not to notice wizards' presence. There were peculiars everywhere. Who cares? People get used to everything in the end.

Perhaps, except loneliness. Remus knew about that perfectly. Lupin spent first years of life in total isolation. His parents were afraid of unlocking their secret, the secret they had hidden for years, the secret Remus kept from the others too.

Old memories hurt like stabbing his heart with a pointed needle. Lupin sighed. He was so lucky to have such wonderful friends as James, Sirius and Peter. There weren't too many of them, but the Marauders always supported Remus, helping Moony to get out from his shell. They accepted Lupin without any question, and his 'furry problem' wasn't a problem at all.

Daybreak. There was a severe weather on North, and Remus was walking, screwing up his eyes, trying to view anything in the wind. Lupin was tired, dreaming of sleep, but still happy, making new steps with a weary smile on his grey face. The Order's task had been fulfilled, and Lupin could get a little rest. Lily's letter, received the night before, gave a comfort by its warmth. Remus fancied it could pass through cloak's folds and touch his heart.

The village was little and very old; Remus found a pub governed by a local wizard. He appeared in a thick room which smelled of cheese and butter beer. To his surprise, it was full for that early time. Lupin counted about ten visitors. People have been already drunk. Somebody started a new song, but the visitors sang out of time with each other. Remus gave them a studying look trying to understand the reason for such a feast.

Remus felt a little worried. He has never seen such kind of celebration before. Voldemort has been holding the magical world in awe for many years. The feast became a forgotten tradition.

'Are you ready to order?' the barkeeper asked. The man wearing shabby apron was drunk too. He focused his eyes on a costumer with a great difficulty.

'Butter beer', answered Remus in a polite tone, taking out money of the pocket.

'On the house', he answered when noticed the coins.

Remus frowned. What's going on? The barkeeper seemed to notice Lupin's confusion. He smiled slyly, offering a butter beer glass.

'Haven't heard the news yet?'

Lupin's heart sunk.

'What news?' he asked, and his voice broke.

Of course, Remus hasn't heard anything yet. He was too busy for that.

The barkeeper was pleased to bate the guest's curiosity. He beckoned Remus to step closer to the bar.

'You-Know-Who has gone last night. Vanished into thin air.'

These words made Remus freeze. He held the glass tighter in his hand. Disturbed thoughts were circulating inside of Lupin's head like bees. What happened? How could it actually happen? Voldemort wasn't a street conjurer to be thrown down so easily.

The barkeeper laughed, watching Lupin's confusion.

'Nobody knows what had happened exactly', he said. 'But it looks like the boy overcame him. We're celebrating tonight.'

Remus stopped breathing. His heart was galloping; his hands became so wet so the glass nearly fell out of them. He ought to stand it on the desk, calm down and wipe hands, but Remus asked.

'What boy?'

'What boy? Harry Potter, of course!'

'Harry Potter?' asked Remus without feeling air and loosing the voice.

'Yeah, Harry Potter. His parents died, by the way… But the boy survived! He's alive!' The barkeeper felt a bit guilty about forgetting the boy's parents, but still tried to find a glimmer in Lupin's eyes.

'He survived and saved us all!'

The glass fell on the floor. Batter beer spread about it, splashing Lupin's dirty cloak. One of drunken visitors woke up and was turning around without understanding what's going on.

Lupin, white and advanced in age, swung and run to the door. His head became to swim, vomiting passed to his throat. Remus felt sick, felt bitterness; his body was hot, shaking from shock.

No, it cannot be true! Remus couldn't believe in it. They trusted him. The Potters believed in Lupin, and Remus couldn't betray his friends. He couldn't allow himself to consider them dead until he would know the whole truth.

There was the only man to explain everything.

Surprised by the guest's reaction, the barman cried:

'Wait! I haven't finished yet! I've got a thrilled story about their best friend…'

But Remus didn't listen. He was running to the street, ready to apparate to Hogwarts.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was pale, with the sighs of tiredness on his face. His eyes lost mysterious glitter, but the Headmaster still looked better than his young guest. He was observing Lupin with a sincere pity and alarm. The story repeated again. He stood here, watching the young man's killing sorrow.

Lupin apparated to Hogsmeade and run to the school without stopping. He was too distracted to think about visiting the Order's headquarters. Lupin understood only one thing, simple, but very important. Dumbledore could explain what really had happened.

Remus sat in a chair, hiding his face in the palms. Shoulders twitched silently. Remus cried as in childhood, when Remus was suffering from his horrible loneliness. The story repeated again. According to Dumbledore's words, he became lonely. Lupin was gasping for breathing, caustic tears choked him.

He lost control and couldn't deal with pain anymore.

'Forgive me, Remus', continued Dumbledore in a quiet tone. 'You should have known it much earlier …'

These words flied to him through the veil of tears. Remus looked at Albus.

'Do you think it's important to me? To worry I'm not the first one to hear the news? They died!' he shouted. 'James and Lily… they were so kind to me…'

Lupin hid his red eyes again. It was impossible! James and Lily's images were so real. The letter hidden in Lupin's robes seemed to burn Remus's heart like fire. The words of pain were printing on his heart, his soul, his body. It was so strange to remember how naive he'd been only few hours ago. Remus was so happy to have friends! And now they all gone, vanished into nowhere...

Remus shook his head, refusing to accept the bitter truth. He would better die himself! The Potters had something to loose, something to fight for. And now there was only… only…

'What's about Harry?' he asked, looking at Dumbledore again. Lupin's face swelled; his hair got the first line of grey. 'Is he all right?'

Dumbledore haven't said anything about the young Potter yet. Lily wrote he had been just like James…

Albus avoided meeting Lupin's glance. Remus frowned.

'The curse rebounded and left the scar on his face.' Noticing Remus ready to get up, the Headmaster added. 'But it's all right, I'm quite sure. Nothing is threatening to Harry's life now.'

Lupin sat down. His thoughts were becoming clear again. Harry was so alone now. His parents died, Sirius was going to prison. There was nobody to help him, except…

Desperate, crazy idea came into his head.

'Somebody needs to take care of Harry. What if I could…?'

'…take him?' guessed Dumbledore. Their glances met, and Remus saw hidden strength in Albus's eyes. Lupin got confused immediately, but didn't remove his eyes. They were talking about Harry, the boy who lived, but for Lupin, his best friend's son. The kid with Lily's eyes and James's soul.

Albus pressed his shoulder as though trying to praise for the bravery. Now Remus could hear weariness and uncovered pity in Dumbledore's voice. He felt sick of it.

'It impossible, I'm afraid', said the Headmaster after a short pause. 'I'm really pleased for your offer, Remus. There need be no doubt you really care of the boy. But we both know it's impossible to leave him with you.'

There was another burn left on his heart. Remus wanted to shake Dumbledore's hand off. Feeling that, Albus clenched his fingers with a new strength.

'Let's be honest. You have nor family or any permanent job. You're sick, and, despite the fact that attacks are periodical, you can be dangerous. It will be much better for Harry to stay in his uncle and aunt's house.'

After some time Remus nodded. He hated himself for the illness, hated himself because Harry was going to stay with the people who hated Lily and James. But what could he do?

'Can I see him?'

"No', Albus's voice was calm again. 'We had taken him to his relatives' house already. I don't think it's a good idea, at least, for some time.'

Remus listened quietly, feeling empty inside. He was tied hand and foot.

'Don't be so troubled, Remus', added Albus, trying to calm him down. 'The boy's gonna be alright. I'm sure you will see him again when the right time comes.'

Lupin didn't answer – he was sure about loosing his voice. He nodded, accepting the Headmaster's words.

Remus could only hope that the day of his separation from Harry wouldn't last very long.


	3. Chapter 3 the Reminiscences

Chapter 3 the Reminiscences

 _1992, April_

Arrived at a little town on South, Lupin quickly found the district he needed. Remus knew how it looked even though he's never been there before. The town was situated it a quiet, faded and very boring place, and it was exactly what Remus needed.

It seemed like Lupin was reading old muggle posters on the bulletin board, but in real he managed to find the list of notices published by wizards. It was unseen for usual people, but travelers like Remus could use it. It always helped Lupin find the vacancies in the cities he visited.

After a little search Remus noticed the vacation he could take. Someone wanted to hire a man for an alteration. Lupin felt a bit worried. He has never done such work before. Unaware to be able to do the job, Remus read the notes again and sighed. He had no choice. Lupin needed the money. He needed this job whatever difficult it could be.

Too late. The old lady who had left the notice disappointed Lupin. Thin women wearing the colorful apron said the worker's been already found. Remus's attempt failed before the start.

He gave the lady a sad tired smile.

'Sorry for your disturbance, then', he answered, preparing to leave.

Lupin made few steps back when a loud crack was heard. Lupin and the old lady exchanged glances. The crack came from the backdoor. The witch grew pale.

'You shouldn't hurry, perhaps…' she said in a trembling voice. 'I don't understand anything in it, but… I might need your help.'

Remus nodded and hurried back. The mistress leaded him through the long narrow corridor leading to the backdoor.

'I've got an outhouse there', she was explaining. The witch worried, and her steps seemed to be awkward. 'But its wall is completely damaged. It's destroying, so …'

They found a wizard standing at the rear yard. He examined the outhouse trying to understand what to do. His sight was unfocused. The man was bats. Lupin sighed. He's seen people like him too often. This work was insignificant and was usually done by the people who needed the money urgently. It could be any rogue searching for easy job.

The wizard with an unpleasant bristle turned back when heard their steps. Remus sighed again, trying to prepare for the job. He knew what it meant. Remus was going to work for two.

'I brought an assistant for you', cried the old lady, noticing reproach in the builder's blurred eyes. 'Just in case…'

'An assistant?' the wizard sized Lupin, his eyes lingered on Remus's old cloak. His grey face illuminated with a smile. 'Well, that'll do.'

'What should we do?' asked Remus, pretending not to notice that contemptuous glance. The mistress answered immediately. She seemed to dislike the builder too.

'You need to take off that wall. I would like to create some sort of green house. It needs the light…'

The drunken builder shook his head.

'It's gonna be very hard to break the wall', he said, interrupting her. The woman looked at him, hesitating.

Remus shrugged his shoulders.

'I'm sure we can do it quite easily.'

Lupin has already known what to do. He decided this problem quickly and destroyed the wall in few minutes. Another ten have been spent on the rebuilding the outhouse. In the end they stood in front of the accurate light building. The work was finished, and the mistress was admiring the flowers through the glass door.

'Wonderful', she murmured, 'Thank you, thank you so much!'

She was so happy that hugged Lupin as a long waited guest. Remus smiled with a little confusion. He could understand her quite easily. The witch lived here alone, suffering from the lack of company. Even the unexpected guest like Remus was a very good choice for her…

Their joy was broken by the drunken builder. He gave a cough trying to pay attention.

'We're waiting for our money', he said.

The old lady turned red.

'Yes, yes, of course. In a minute…' she hurried away to the house to take the galleons. Remus turned to the builder. The man continued to examine him.

'Divide into halves', he said without any challenge. Remus hardly kept patience. He wanted to give this rat a good lesson and only need to be careful made him stay calm. He nodded.

The backdoor opened again. The mistress came back with the money.

'That's all what I have', she said honestly. 'I hope that's enough…'

The unlucky builder took his part of the coins and vanished as fast as he could. The mistress looked at Lupin, hesitating. The man, young, but turning grey already, gave her a kind smile that she need so much.

'Thank you', he said in a calm quiet voice. 'Thank you very much…'

Lupin didn't want to count the coins. It wasn't polite. Moreover, the mistress seemed to be so vulnerable that he wanted to calm her down. Remus thanked the mistress kindly with understanding he would never see her again. There was no job in this city; Lupin had to move away as soon as possible. Start a new life…

Remus found the builder waiting for him at the street.

'Smoking?'

'No'. Lupin put straight his bag and went to the crossroad to apparate. The man followed him, trying to step as fast as Remus. Lupin frowned.

'I have never seen you before. Going to stay?'

'No, unfortunately', Remus was honest, but didn't want to reveal any detail. The wizard bristled up at him.

'You don't look like a vagabond', he said.

'Beg your pardon?' asked Remus in a mild tone.

'You don't look like me', the builder explained. 'Too polite. Too calm. People like you usually stay at in their houses, playing with kids after working day', he said and gave a hoarse laugh. 'They don't run away to the little city as this. Why are you here?'

Lupin didn't want to continue the conversation.

'Personal reasons', he answered, breaking the chat.

'You haven't killed anyone, have you?' the man added wit a new laugh. The joke seemed to be very funny to him. He laughed so hard that didn't notice Lupin to shiver. _If he knew what creature he really was_ …

Remus looked at the man and felt envy. He was even worse than that builder. He was ill. He was a monster.

Monster. Monster. Monster.

Lupin clutched his teeth and apparated as fast as he could. He went to the Leaky Cauldron and rented one of the tiny rooms. He was shivering, not because of illness but because of despair. Remus remembered the Potters again. When Lupin was down, he always remembered them, their support, their attention to him…

 _He should have died instead of them…_

Remus sat in the corner of the pub and continued to revive the past when a familiar voice was heard suddenly.

'Remus, is that you?'

Lupin shook his head and looked at the person standing opposite him. It was Hagrid who stood very close, bowing, examining Remus and holding his sight on Lupin's grey hair.

'Hagrid!'

Lupin jumped and shook the gamekeeper's hand. They have known each other since the days of the Order. Unfortunately, old friendship was forgotten quite soon. Previous participants of the Order came back to their works and families when the war was over. In spite of them, Lupin didn't have anything to dive in. There were only memories left to Lupin, nothing more.

'Yeh've changed', Hagrid said frankly, still watching Lupin's grey head. Remus offered the old friend to sit near. After examining the room, Hagrid found a good strong chair and finally sat beside Remus.

'And you haven't changed at all', Lupin answered. Hagrid smiled.

'That's a giant's blood, yeh know. I was just thinking of you, and here you are!'

'You were searching for me?'

'I got some business for yeh, Remus'. The gamekeeper bowed closer. 'Well, I have decided ter make a little presen' for Harry recently…'

Lupin almost let out the butter beer glass out his hands.

'Harry?! Did you see him?'

'Of course', said Hagrid proudly. Lupin noticed some glimmer in giant's eyes.

'He went ter school last year. Smar' and very nice boy. Looks exactly like James. You would recognize him immediately…'

Remus's heart sank. Lily's voice sounded inside of his head again, repeating the words from the last letter.

 _Harry is very much alike James; you'll see it when visit us next time._

He couldn't stop smiling. Harry was all right, then… Remus remembered of the boy all these years, but haven't' seen him yet. Dumbledore's promises of quick meeting delayed for about a decade.

'So… I only thought… he doesn' remember his parents, yeh know. I'm an orphan too, I know, what's like.'

Hagrid started to cry and took out a great piece of cloth he called a napkin.

'He doesn' have any memory of Lily and James. And I thought, maybe, someone had any photos of them. I could make an album for him. But there is no one left except you who were close ter the Potters. Lily and James were great friends only with you and…'

Hagrid stopped talking, looking embarrassed. Remus nodded. These memories still hurt him too.

'So… Do yeh have anything? Any photo will do', Hagrid asked with a hope in his voice.

Lupin smiled. He was ready to help him without any question. After a while Remus said goodbye to the old friend who was going to come back to Hogwarts. He went upstairs, opened the old suitcase and found a yellowed envelope. Remus took out the pile of photographs and examined them all to choose the best ones. Here were Lily and James at the prom… And here is their wedding photo. Their very first picture with a tiny son…

These photos were all what was left to Remus, but Harry needed them too. Lupin was ashamed to know so much about the Potters while Harry didn't know anything about them. He should do something to fix it.

Lupin found an empty envelope, put the photos inside and sealed it carefully.

There weren't just photographs. There were the reminiscences, the proofs that Lily and James Potter were real.


	4. Chapter 4 An unexpected quest

Chapter 4 An unexpected guest

1993

It was too difficult to find the job for Lupin. Remus continued travelling from town to town, until fate didn't leave him a single change for hope. The clouds were gathering over Remus again. People were changing, they stopped trust each other. Everything around them seemed to be suspicious, and it narrowed the circle where Remus has existed.

Lupin was down. Despair torched him, trying to touch his wounded soul.

While searching of the shelter for a full moon, Remus found an old cottage in Yorkshire, deserted and time - worn. Its condition was awful. The house has been standing empty for a decade and looked fragile as though it was made of sand. From another side, the house was situated too far from any settlement. Remus considered that as a good sight and decided to examine the building more carefully. Its basement turned out to be safe, and Lupin spent the night there, away from strangers' sight.

After some time, tired of unsuccessful search, Remus decided to settle there. To his surprise, the situation wasn't too bad. Remus fixed the house and repaired the roof. He spent the last money he owned but managed to give the house a new breath, a new life, a new chance for living. He was grateful for this house to shelter him from his monstrosity and hoped his problems wouldn't last for too long…

… Lupin fell asleep in the old ragged chair. A weird sound made him awake, and Remus dropped the book from his hands, quivering. He turned around and found himself in his new, but very old house. The dreams were leaving Lupin to let the reality win and knock into the door with a loud, mild sound.

Somebody kept knocking. The dreams vanished, and Remus felt a bit worried. Who was that? There was nobody living in the neighborhood, Remus was sure about that. What should he do? Lupin thought of turning the light off and leaving when heard somebody's polite coughing. It seemed to be very familiar to Lupin, and, after some hesitation, Remus rose, checked his wand, came to the door and opened it with a long crack.

…There was Albus Dumbledore, staying on the threshold.

Lupin froze.

'Good evening, Remus. We haven't met for ages!'

Keeping light-hearted look, Albus was jumping from toes to heels and pretending to enjoy the countryside view.

'I don't remember when we have seen each other for the last time. I was passing by and suddenly thought about you. May I come in?'

It was impossible to appear here by chance. Remus was stunned, surprised and shocked, but moved aside and let Dumbledore in.

'Of course.'

The headmaster crossed the threshold and examined the cottage. There wasn't too mush furniture in the house. A narrow bed situated near to the window, writing desk that saw better days, a wardrobe and a bookshelf, Remus's main treasure…

Remus dropped his eyes when followed Albus's sight. He was ashamed to be so poor, so miserable and so desperate. And he hasn't expected to see any guest, especially, such important person as the headmaster.

Dumbledore pretended not to notice anything wrong.

'Sit down, please', cried Lupin.

There was a familiar glimmer in Dumbledore's eyes, appeared somewhere inside. It flashed in the eyes and vanished, reflecting in the spectacles.

'To be honest, I've got a pain in my back recently', said Albus in a soft, very polite tone. He waved his hand and created a tall wooden chair with armrest.

'Do you mind…?'

Lupin had no objection to that, and the wizards sat in front of each other.

'Would you like something to drink? Cup of tea?'

'Thanks, Remus, you're very kind, but I have to decline your offer. I went here just after spending a good time in 'Three broomsticks'. Madam Rosmerta didn't let me go without extra butterbeer portion.'

Remus noticed a light smile on Albus's face.

'What are you doing here?' he asked, changing the topic of conversation. Only now, sitting beside the headmaster, he realized how much he had missed usual normal chatting.

'Business matter. We've got a problem with teaching staff again. You may have heard of the tragedy happened with our last Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Appeared in the Secret Chamber, poor Professor Lockhart lost his memory… He can't continue working, I'm afraid.'

Lupin heard of that man but has never met him before. He saw Lockhart's portraits on the book covers and found him very eccentric, although did not want to judge his skills by appearances.

But Remus knew about the curse, of course. While studying at Hogwarts, Lupin also suffered from constant changes of DADA teachers. They usually left school after one year of working, which influenced bad for the students' knowledge. They had a serious risk to leave Hogwarts unprepared for real life. The Marauders studied a lot by themselves, that's why old friends survived in the Death eaters' attacks. Current students weren't so long-sighed.

Dumbledore seemed to hear Remus thoughts and continued.

'These replacements affect on the knowledge, of course. All students are different, but little part of them is capable of surviving in the stream of life. I need to hire the wizard who can give the students as much knowledge as he can and encourage them, if the kids need it.'

Remus agreed.

'So here I am, trying to find a proper candidate', the headmaster screw up his eyes, examining Lupin. 'To be frank, it appeared to be a very difficult task. I had to apparate to a dozen different places, searching for him.'

'So, who is he?' asked Remus honestly. Dumbledore smiled. Lupin looked at him, put things together and grown pale.

'You must be kidding me', he said when regained the ability to speak again.

"Not at all'. Albus found situation to be very funny. 'And before you say your answer, let me explain.'

'We both know it's impossible, Professor', Remus tried to stay polite, but his voice sounded harshly. 'I'm dangerous.'

'Life usually proves there is nothing impossible in this world', Dumbledore shrugged his shoulders and looked at Lupin through his half-moon spectacles. 'You're a great proof of that.'

Both of the wizards remembered the day of their first meeting. Remus's parents, scared to death, didn't want the Headmaster to enter into their house. They didn't want the secret to be revealed, especially, by Albus himself. Despite their attempts, few minutes later Lyall and Hope found Albus sitting near the fire and playing with their little son. Lupin still remembered that. Of course, he remembered. That day changed everything to him. That day Remus found out he would be able to study at Hogwarts as equal, normal child he always wanted to be.

'It's not the same. I'm not a schoolboy anymore. It's not so easy to hide. The consequences can be very serious.'

'I know', answered Albus. 'But it's not a problem anymore. Have you heard of the Wolfsbane Potion? They say it's really working. The potion doesn't stop transformation, of course, but turns the werewolf into a usual, harmless creature.'

Remus kept listening without understanding what exactly Albus wanted to say. The headmaster knew how expensive the ingredients were. He couldn't effort such spends. Lupin was living a poor life, quite miserable already. And he could accept these words as a new jeer except only fact he has known the headmaster for many years.

Dumbledore was reading Remus like a book.

'It has a very difficult structure,' he continued, 'but, happily, we have got all the ingredients in Hogwarts. We also have an excellent potion master to prepare it for you. Severus Snape kindly accepted my request to decide this delicate problem. As result, we have everything we need to keep your transformations safe. What do you think about that?'

Remus couldn't believe in Dumbledore's words. Hidden, unexpected joy shivered inside of him. He could have a job! Real, normal job just like all usual wizards had. He also could have a chance to come back to Hogwarts, the only place he has ever been happy.

Lupin squeezed his hands on the chair armrests. The preposition was so desirable, so ideal; it was impossible to believe in it. Hidden joy shown itself and vanished, leaving a bitter taste in his soul. Old fear replaced it, and Remus stopped smiling.

'I don't know, Professor…' he didn't argue, but was confused now. 'I don't think the parents will accept such teacher as me'.

Dumbledore remained calm.

'Nobody knows of your illness openly. We can consider this as an excellent advantage, Remus. We managed to keep this information secret in your past. We are able to save it now. Moreover, the parents will be delighted if their children are studied by such a brilliant talented wizard as you.'

Of course, Albus used this trick to persuade Lupin. He knew how responsible Remus was and was pressing on his weakness now. Remus always continued to help the others. How could he refuse Albus now?

Remus kept silent. He was embarrassed and felt very awkward. Lupin didn't want to let down the kids he had never seen. But he didn't want to endanger them too.

The headmaster sighed theatrically, noticing the struggle on Lupin's face.

'To be frank, I have other reasons to hire you, Remus. First of all, teaching will be very useful in your current situation. Even if the job is temporary, it's going help you to understand what to do next'.

He examined the old house.

'I also hoped you could look after Harry,' added in a very disappointed voice.

'Harry?' repeated Remus. He moved closer when heard the boy's name.

Albus smiled.

'Haven't I said he was the main participant in the events in the Chamber of Secrets? The boy is very smart but attracts any trouble he can get. I believe you know from whom he inherited this.'

Lupin sat still as though he had been struck by the lightning. He has been thinking of the boy since that meeting with Hagrid. And when Albus mentioned the students, Remus imagined them with a blurred faces. Now he could see Harry among them. His best friends' son, so real and so similar to them. To look after Harry? What a strange question. Remus was ready to sacrifice everything for the boy.

Dumbledore kept watching him, waiting for the answer. When Remus's face brightened, he smiled.

'You agree, then?' he asked.

Lupin nodded.

'Excellent!' cried the Headmaster and stood up. 'I'm waiting for you on the first of September.'

Dumbledore hurried to leave. It seemed to Remus like the Headmaster had some very important business to do, but he wanted to get Remus's answer first. That thought sounded strange and ridiculous, and Lupin decided to forget about it. He has never been so important.

'To be honest, you made me worry. I used all my trump cards to persuade you, Remus,' added Albus, preparing to leave.

'They worked then', said Remus with a kind smile. This conversation was strange, unexpected, but very pleasant in the end.

After a warm goodbye, the headmaster left the cottage. Few seconds later Lupin heard the loud crack. Albus apparated from Yorkshire.

…Dumbledore was honest with Remus, but hid one very important fact. The fact only few people have known. The fact everybody would found out very soon.

The headmaster has got the letter this morning, telling him that Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban.


	5. Chapter 5 Sirius Black

Chapter 5 Sirius Black

1994

Lupin was leaving Hogwarts, making his way to a new part of life. Last year was full of events, happy and sad, but Remus knew he would never forget it.

Working at Hogwarts was a great luck. As usual, Dumbledore appeared to be right while saying the words about Lupin's work at the school. Lupin got time for a break and realizing how much he had missed for the last difficult years.

Time slowed down and gave a chance to discover life from different sides. Lupin haven't noticed the moment when the new generation rose, replacing the Marauders' from the school memories. The kids were so young and so different, but also very unique. What could he say? Lupin really took a strong liking to them. Remus was leaving Hogwarts, hoping he had done everything to help the students.

It was not surprising when Remus started to have the favorites. Lupin still remembered his childhood and all the troubles he had had while being an outcast. And here was Harry… Remus' heart broke when he saw the boy for the first time. Their final meeting and easy friendship gave Lupin hope and the reason to move on.

Remus's bones were aching after full moon, his face got dark circles. The tiredness was mixing with a shame. The events mixed, the consequences were only going to happen. Remus could hardly take a breath, leaving the school at the distance. Thanks Merlin, nobody was hurt…

Lupin felt sorry about all what happened but would never use a time-turner to change anything. All seemed to be fair now, there was the light appearing in Lupin's heart. _He's got the friend again._ The events of that long, difficult, complicated night uncovered the truth, important and very shocking. Wormtail appeared to be the real traitor, while Sirius spent years in Azkaban for nothing. Sirius has gone, trying to hide from Death; Remus could only hope Padfoot would be able to run from the hands of the Ministry.

After short time Remus got the first note from Black. Padfoot seemed to be somewhere in the backwoods. The letter was written on the old newspaper, and Remus had to look hard trying to read the text.

 _Dear Moony!_

 _I'm safe now. Not sure to be able to write you a lot, but promise to stay in touch. It's sad we couldn't talk to each other. We have a lot of things to discuss. There were so many offences between us. We need the time to recover our relations._

 _I don't know what to say... Oh, blow it! Sorry, Remus! I will never be able to take that cross off, because it was me who had sent Lily and James to death…_

Remus sighed. He couldn't stop thinking of Marauders' and the Potters too. They left such a bright mark on his heart. It looked like the Potters continued living inside of him, reviving and dying over and over again, every day and every night.

 _It was my fault why they changed the plan that day. I was an idiot, Remus. Believing you were the betrayer, I turned mad of that thought. Lily kept persuading us in your loyalty, but James and I didn't listen. I was fool to turn away from you. You always have been so loyal, you were better than us, and I'm really sorry._

 _I hope you'll understand and accept me as a friend again. My thoughts are becoming clearer now, and I'm waiting for the better future. We still have Harry to take care of him. I'm so proud you had spent this year with the boy. Harry is so like James. He saved my life that night, did you know? I'm proud of him and grateful to you, dear Moony. You taught him a lot, and this knowledge saved my life in the end._

 _Of course, I'm jealous a bit too. You spent so much time with Harry instead of me… but it's good you took care of him last year, and I hoped you could assist me in something…_

 _I want to help him somehow. You know Harry better than I do. How can I help him? I sent him the Firebolt though he didn't know…_

Despite Sirius's remark, the Firebolt was the most desirable gift the boy ever wanted to get. Lupin smiled when remembered Harry's victory in Quiddich. That thought revived old memories of James, his old snitch, and old happy times…

Sirius not only helped Harry by presenting the Firebolt. He revived James for them all. Remus spent coupe of days thinking of Sirius's request before finding an answer. He started to write the letter, feeling a bit nervous. It was pleasant and strange to be needed again.

 _Dear Padfoot!_

 _Your letter arrived unnoticed and safe. Don't worry. I don't ask frequent answers from you. The main thing is to know you're alive and save. That's all I need._

 _I want to apologize too. I kept living with a considering you as the traitor. Our friends died so early and so unexpectedly… We have to remember them every day, and our aim is to take care of Harry as long as we can. Your thanks for saving your life were needless. I didn't do anything! Harry is a true son of James, he's very smart and talented student (and very lucky in finding troubles). Prongs would be so proud of him. Dumbledore hoped I could watch after him, just like keeping my eye after two of you in the time of our youth… I didn't work, definitely! Harry is hopeless to stay away from the trouble. He's brave, and I'm sure, he'll show himself in the near future._

 _By the way, the Marauders' Map is still alive. Harry is its owner now. He used the map trying to get to Hogsmeade. His relatives didn't sign the permission for him, and the boy went to the village through one of the secret passageway (I think he chose the one that situated in Honeydukes)._

 _You're Harry's Godfather. Harry will be delighted if you write the permission for him to visit Hogsmeade. It's going help him a lot._

 _I hope you're safe. If you have to choose between Harry and me, write to the boy first. He'll be waiting for any note from you, I'm sure. Harry doesn't know his parents at all and the reunion with f the Godfather is a great gift by itself._

 _Take care,_

 _Moony_

To be honest, Lupin didn't feel sorry about the fact Harry was breaking the rules. He didn't feel sorry about the Map either. Harry and his best friends were the Marauders' continuation; they owned the right to break rules.

In the end, they were just kids now.

Lupin felt relieved while finishing the letter. He couldn't pass all pain in the words, but felt better after apologies. One of his nightmares was over, and it seemed to be easier to fight with the fears now.


	6. Chapter 6 Grown up

Chapter 6 Grown up

1994

'Are you sure about this, Mad-Eye?'

Nymphadora Tonks was pacing Alastor's living room. He lived like a real recluse, actually, and hated to play as host, but let Dora in as an exception. It was dangerous to keep her outside the house for too long.

Blocked up with different sort of rubbish, it was very hard to call the room as a place to do the honors. When Dora arrived Mad Eye was sitting on his favorite stool packing things into the trunk.

'Of course, I do. I promised Albus to spend a year in the school. They lost their last DADA teacher, and Dumbledore didn't have a desire to hire a stranger in such a difficult time. And, in my opinion, Albus's decision is very vise.'

'Of course.' Tonks stopped examining the instrument which looked like old surgical scissors. The living room smelled of dust. 'Constant…'

'…vigilance!' he cried out, screwing up his face. Dora smiled. She could see through Moody, not worse that Alastor's magical eye.

'You should be careful too. If you finished the studying course it didn't mean for you to calm down.'

'Who told you that, Mad-Eye? And, by the way, I'll come to work tomorrow… thank you'.

Nymphadora let her eyes linger on the former teacher.

They have never discussed it but she knew Mad-Eye had had a hand in Tonks's appointment to the Auror Office. Weird, but this two always managed to deal with each other. Tonks was Mad-Eye's favorite. Everyone was afraid of that strange mad teacher except her. Tonks confused old Auror with colorful talent and easy temper. From another side, the girl had a sharp tongue when she needed to show it and could hold her own in any fight.

Tonks was a real fighter. Or, may be, Alastor was growing older. May be, he considered Nymphadora as a successor he had never had.

'I don't know what you are talking about, Tonks', he said. 'Incidentally, how did you know my address?'

'Don't forget, I've got an excellent grade on the Concealment and Disguise course', noticed Dora and continued examining Mad-Eye's inventions. 'I wanted to visit you, wish you good luck, say goodbye. It wasn't difficult. In the end, I'm an Auror, am I?'

Tonks moved sharply, finishing the speech. Too harshly. Dusty vase which stood on the mantelpiece moved traitorously. Time slowed down, and Nymphadora could see the vase to lean, stand in the air and fell to the floor, turning into the brash.

'Accurately, Tonks!' Alastor raised his voice. 'I told you not to touch anything. _Reparo_!'

The vase combined again and returned to the mantelpiece.

'I didn't touch anything! You just shouldn't have placed the fragile things on the mantelpiece. And, by the way, how did you manage to get the vase in your own house?'

There was a smile appearing on her face. Mad-Eye's shouting has never affected on the girl. Tonks put her hands behind her back hoping it would safe her from the next trouble.

'It belonged to my parents. I was a child too, you know.'

Tonks's smile turned happier.

'I'm really trying, but still can't imagine that. Oh, what if you've got some old photos here?' she started to turn around, searching for the pictures. Moody rolled up his normal eye; the magical one continued watching over Nymphadora.

'Don't even dare to hunt for it, Tonks. I'm watching you…'

'Yeah, yeah, _all-seeing Eye_ …'

She continued joking but was grateful for this special attitude to her. Alastor Moody was the first wizard who took Dora seriously. Many people, including her horrible mother, considered Tonks as a child and took het lightly until Mad-Eye changed everything. He noticed Dora's discomfort and was the first one to believe in her. He was the first one to call the girl by her last name, and it worked. It changed everything, and people had to take her seriously, as a grown up, as a real professional…

'What is that?' Tonks asked, pointing at the instrument on the window.

Moody continued packing things. His magical eye made a turn and noticed it.

'Sneakosope, of course. Remind me, how did you get an excellent mark on the Magical Instruments Course?'

'But it doesn't look like Sneakosope anymore!' she protested, still examining it very carefully. 'You have changed it, Mad-Eye!'

'Ah, yeah… I improved it a bit'.

Moody's voice changed rapidly. It started to sound calm and peaceful, full of proud. Alastor spent hours creating new wonderful instruments.

'I haven't finished it yet. Sneakosope must whistle if the person you chose starts thinking of you…

It can be very useful in the battles. You will always find out who's gonna attack first.'

'Looks like a stuff for unhappy lovers... Don't you want to tell me anything, Mad-Eye?'

Moody rolled up his eyes again.

'It's not funny, Tonks…'

The clocks struck five. The living room turned into the galaxy of loud and low-pinched sounds. Tonks became straight and checked the watch. Her smile vanished, and Moody suddenly noticed that she turned upset.

'I need to go home', she sighed. 'I promised not to be late for dinner.'

Still keeping hands behind her back, Dora came closer to Moody. The situation turned out to be very awkward. Alastor rose, balancing on the healthy feet.

'Go home', he wheezed, examining the floor. 'Your parents are waiting for you.'

His voice was mild, but bitter. They stood in front of each other, Tonks – jumping from toe to heel, Moody – knocking his wooden feet. Nobody was brave enough to look in the eyes.

'Oh, come on…'

Tonks stopped this confusion and hugged the former teacher. Moody folded her in his arms too, carefully, slapping Tonks on the back.

'Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to leave you forever…'

'I'm so scared to go to work', Tonks blurted out suddenly. The girl didn't want to admit she was scared of the first working day. Nymphadora was going to start a new life tomorrow. She was so scared to be alone, without Mad-eye near by…

'Kingsley promised to take care of you', he said trying to encourage the girl.

Tonks nodded, releasing herself from his arms and rubbing the tears away.

'Will you let me write to you?'

Tonks's voice sounded like hope. Moody wrinkled his nose.

'I'm not a big fan of all of these sentiments, you know…' he said. 'And the letter can go to the other hands…'

'I'm not going to disbosom my secret love in the letters, Mad-Eye', Dora said caustically. Moody hemmed. This answer he liked.

'Well, can I send you postcards, at least?' she asked, serious now.

Mad eye nodded, sighing. What could he do?

'There is no getting away from you', Moody's voice became grumpy again. 'Well, let's say goodbye, I still have some work to do…'

Alastor Moody leaded Tonks to the door. He continued watching her, while Tonks went outside, waving him on the lawn. She was the daughter Moody had never had…

Worrying about Nymphadora, Alastor lost his famous vigilance for the first time. Mad-Eye was watching Tonks without noticing somebody's hiding near dustbins…

* * *

'I'm home!' Tonks cried in the corridor.

Parents' house was clean and accurate, as usually, but the corridor was almost empty. When Dora was born, Ted and Andromeda took off everything she could break. It became a habit.

There was a blond man with a paunch, waiting for her in the end of the corridor.

'You're late. Mum is getting furious, I'm afraid'.

'I needed to wish Mad-Eye good luck', she said, ignoring the notices about mother. After all these years Dora learned the art of ignoring Andromeda's bad mood.

Mum was sitting on the table, waiting for daughter. She has never liked anybody to be late. Dora hated the rules which mum had saved from her previous life. Tonks hated her constant displeasure calling it 'Black Mood' and making Dromeda feel angrier than ever.

'Have you decided what to wear on your first working day?' asked mum, speaking with deliberation. She was sitting on the chair so straightly that chair back seemed to be crooked.

Dora shrugged her shoulders.

'My usual clothes. I'm an Auror. I don't have to impress them.'

'You'd better ask what hair color she is going to choose', noticed Ted before Andromeda prepared a proper answer. Dora looked at him. Daddy's eyes were smiling.

It made Dromeda furious. She has never dealt with her own daughter like Ted…

'I hope your work at the Ministry will finally help you grown up', she said, sighing. Mum's words sounded calm but made Dora wild. Her hair turned red.

'I'm already grown up, mother', she muttered.

'Whatever you say, you will always be a child to me', said she, changing the tone to cold.

Tonks was hurt and wanted to say something offensive too. She opened her mouth, preparing to say ugly words, and only Ted's accurate gaze made her stop arguing. Dora sighed. She couldn't compete with father's attentive look, which could stop any quarrel at home. It was the main rule in their family, and Dora had to obey it.

She continued the dinner, choking tears back and feeling very unhappy. Today, when Moody was preparing to leave London, Tonks felt real, dark loneliness. He was leaving her alone, lost, and Dora had nobody to comfort her.

She had nobody who could accept Tonks just the way she was.


	7. Chapter 7 the Order of the Phoenix

Chapter 7. The Order of the Phoenix

 _1995_

Leaving Hogwarts, Remus avoided thinking of consequences, but fate had different plans for Lupin; when life turned the scale to the side of friends, another half was destructing with magical speed.

After his resign from the school the magical world knew about Lupin's illness. New reform pursued by Dolores Umbridge turned Remus's life into disaster. He had problems with job before, but today he couldn't find it at all. Now, year after leaving the school, time spent at Hogwarts seemed to be happy, almost unreal to Remus. Everybody turned their backs on the werewolf when heard about Remus's 'furry problem'.

Cruelty raised on hate and fear of the werewolves continually gained in scope. Remus was able to find a job only in badly deserted places and little villages where people didn't read papers. Lupin wasn't shy to work on muggles too. He had no choice. Life turned into the days of surviving, ugly and very miserable.

Remus appeared here, on the edge of a little village, trying to find the job again. The attempt was unsuccessful, of course, and Remus was leaving the place, ashamed, confused and completely miserable.

The words the wizards shouted him, still sounded in Remus's head the next few days.

'Get out of here, freak!'

'Monster!'

'Buzz off, beast!'

He was going to apparate, pale as a ghost. Remus still saw their eyes, full of hate to him. The burn in Lupin's heart was gowning, turning into the fire. Pain was penetrating into the whole body; Remus felt thick but couldn't do anything. He tried to do his best to keep the wand in his shaking hands.

But he hated himself so much. He was able to deal with any insult, but listening to those ugly and cruel words was an unbearable torture. It felt like infection that was spreading through open wounds, hurting, destructing you.

In the end Remus, broken and tired, came back to his old cottage in Yorkshire. Sirius visited him sometimes, but today Remus was here alone. Today was the day of the tournament's final. Padfoot preferred to stay closer to the school, and Lupin had nothing against it. He worried about Harry too, but couldn't stay at Hogwarts because of his illness.

Remus was sitting in front of the fireplace, trying to concentrate and reading one line over and over again. It was dark, he didn't hear any news, and Lupin was moving restlessly, shagging from every rustle.

Lupin lost count and, tired of waiting, got up and started to measure the room by feet.

There was a strange noise heard, the door opened and a big dog appeared on the threshold.

Padfoot was out of breath.

'What happed?' Remus cried. It was something wrong, he saw it.

Sirius turned into human shape and said, hardly breathing:

'Voldemort is back'.

Remus started back as though got a slap. Different thoughts burst out creating a tangle. He should have said something, but Remus froze.

'The goblet turned out to be a Portkey. Wormtail managed to find his mater', explained Sirius, looking a bit surprised. 'It was him who helped the Dark Lord to reborn'.

Sirius's face he made a grimace of pain. Moony looked in Padfood's eyes. He grew older than Sirius had been looking after Azkaban. Harry's pain was his pain now. Black was suffering too.

'He came back, Remus', continued Black, and his voice was quiet, very difficult to listen. 'I came here from the school. We have some job to do. Dumbledore's order'.

Remus frowned, turning pale. He knew was it was going to mean. Sirius nodded.

'Yeas…' Black knew Remus perfectly and realized he had guessed everything already. 'We are summoning the second Order of the Phoenix'.

His words were too shocking to be the truth. The Order… Remus looked at friend again, hoping everything he had said was a weird joke, just as Sirius used to do. But his best friend remained serious and tired. Remus shook his head. It was impossible… And Wormtail, that traitor…

Lupin sighed, trying to calm down.

'What's about Harry? Is he safe?' he asked, frightened to hear bad news.

Sirius sat at one of the ragged chairs.

'He's in the hospital wig, but he'll be ok'.

Remus nodded. This answer was bringing a short relief.

'We need to find the old company', said Sirius in a low voice. 'We need to tell them all. Dumbledore promised to send the massage a bit later, tell about the place for the first meeting'.

It wasn't easy to find the former members of the Order. Not only because of the late time. Sirius was still counted to be the criminal, and his appearance on the threshold was a merely cheerful. Despite of that, Remus's words played its role, and nobody closed the door beside them. Everybody listened and seemed to believe in the guest's news. Moreover, Dumbledore's name played a big role in persuading, and all lost friends agreed to go to the meeting.

As usually, the headmaster was right, and Albus's massage came very soon. When Remus and Padfoot came back to the cottage, they found the piece of parchment waiting for them on the table. Remus read it aloud.

 _The meeting will be held in the Burrow, the house of Arthur Weasley, not far from Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon England._

Apparated to the address, Lupin and Black found themselves standing on the high hill not far from the house. Bill Weasley, Arthur and Molly's son, was standing by, ready to meet the guests. His long hair was playing with icy cold wild but didn't trouble the guy at all. He showed the side to the Burrow.

'Come here, to that house. Mum's waiting for you. Dad's in the Ministry now, he'll apparate closer to the beginning of the council'.

Old friends nodded and walked to the right building. Molly was waiting for the guests in a tiny hall. She was a bit nervous about the luck of the space. Molly was dashing around the room when Black and Lupin came in. She froze when recognized them both.

Well, may be, Lupin wasn't dangerous for her. Molly heard of Remus's illness but carried it off very well. Or she was too destructed, perhaps, and even the werewolf wasn't a problem at all. But Sirius…

Molly gave him a suspicious glance. He smiled, noticing that. There was a wild glitter in Molly's eyes that didn't mean anything good. She wasn't pleased to see a serial killer on the threshold, but nodded, greeting.

'I was wondering how to seat the guests round the table…' she started, and Remus heard unaware tones in the woman's voice.

She was speaking to Remus only, of course. Sirius laughed, and that laugh sounded like dog's bark.

'What if we locate the table outside the house?' Lupin said, noticing the backdoor's view. 'We could protect the space with different kind of spells. Nobody will be able to hear us'.

Molly sighed, relieved, and nodded. Still feeling displeasure to Sirius, she volunteered to help Remus to prepare the place for the meeting. Black laughed quietly and left the Burrow, joining long-haired Bill.

The wizards started to apparate to the Burrow very soon. Mostly, it was people Remus and Sirius had found today. The last to come was Albus Dumbledore, who apparated here with Arthur Weasley. The others gathered outside at the long old table, waiting for Albus's arrival. Remus, Sirius, Emmeline Vance, Elphias Doge…

Alastor Moody had been absent. He was the person Dumbledore trusted completely. Moody must have been at the school right now…

Albus waited for the Weasley family to take their places at the table too. Standing in the middle, he surveyed them all.

'First of all, I'd like to thank Arthur and Molly for such a generous reception', he started. 'They kindly agreed the hold the first meeting here'.

Elphias Doge, pale as a shit, couldn't wait any longer.

'Is that right, Albus?' his voice sounded broken. 'What Remus and Sirius told us? You – know…'

Dumbledore interrupted him.

'That's the truth, Elphias. Voldemort is back.'

He sounded so confident, that nobody dared to doubt about that. Dumbledore said everything what had happened that evening, including Harry's survival in the battle with Voldemort. The guests were listening quietly, not interrupting. The information seemed to be monstrous and unreal.

Sirius was listening with half an ear; he has known all the details already. Molly started to cry again, she considered Harry as her son and worried about the boy too. Arthur grown pale, Bill was frowning.

Then Dumbledore said about Sirius's innocence in the Potters murder. The headmaster noticed Molly's fear in the hospital wig; he couldn't notice wizards' dirty looks, and decided to solve the problem as soon as possible. Sirius kept silent, pretending it was nothing special about Albus's words, but Remus noticed the friend to look relieved. The truth was uncovered now.

'Voldemort revived', continued Dumbledore, 'and now we're gathering together. Our primary aim today is to get united against the common enemy who became stronger and more dangerous than ever before.'

'I don't insist on your participation in the Order's life', he said loudly, making the guests listen more carefully. 'I'm asking for your help.'

Everybody looked at Dumbledore with clear admiration.

'If you have a desire to help, if you're ready to risk your life for the better future', Albus let his eyes linger on the Weasley family, who had under-aged kids. 'You've got some work to do. If you think it doesn't worth your time, you can live us right now.'

Albus sustained a pause to let the guests leave the place if they wanted to. Everybody kept sitting at the table.

There was some glitter in the Headmaster's eyes.

'Good', he said without hiding his joy. 'Then, I suppose, we can officially speak about the Order's recreation. You're not the only participants, of course. Some of your colleagues risk their lives fulfilling the Order's tasks'.

He looked at Sirius, finishing the phrase. Padfoot remembered his handshake with Snape and wrinkled his nose.

'Alastor Moody has recently been rescued from shameful captivity in his own trunk. As I think, Alastor will join us when he feels better. But it makes difficult to find the Aurors…'

Last time Aurors participated in the Order's life very actively. Many of them were found by Moody himself. He was too important for the Order, and Remus felt sorry that the famous Auror was absent.

'I'll do this', said Arthur Weasley.

Everybody turned to him, examining the wizard carefully. Remus looked at Ron's father. The Weasley family played the biggest part in Harry's life. They didn't participate in the first war, though… But the Pruett twins, who died in the battle with Death eaters, were Molly's brothers. Everybody remembered their bravery.

'Kingsley is on the road now, but I'll talk to him tomorrow', continued Arthur. 'I believe I can persuade him to join us. He can help to find somebody else too.'

'Great idea, thank you, Arthur,' the Headmaster answered with a kind smile. That gratitude was priceless and made people feel uncomfortable, just like they owned something to Dumbledore. Albus has known that, and used this feeling as prove of loyalty to his interests.

Sirius sighed. He couldn't wait to start to do something. He was bored.

'What should we do?' he asked, tired of waiting.

'First thing we need to do is to trust each other', Albus answered calmly, directing the words to Padfoot. Sirius merely rolled up his eyes.

'Trust is our best friend.'

'It's all because of Snape', Sirius whispered to Lupin. 'Dumbledore made us shake our hands. I should have checked if he infected me with anything after that handshake…'

Lupin nearly laughed. But he couldn't agree with his best friend now. They weren't schoolboys anymore. Lupin wanted to say Sirius stop worry about it so much and forget old offence…

… and didn't say anything, of course.

'Secondly, we need to invite new wizards to the Order. We have talked about it already, but you should remember that Voldemort is going to do the same. We need to find as many people as we can and persuade them in our truth. But we should be careful too. Fudge suspects everybody and will do everything to keep his reputation safe.'

Remus felt pity for Arthur and Molly. They took such a great risk. They had something to loose. The real family, normal family, something he will never have…

'Third, we need to find the place which we can use as the headquarters. The number of the participants is expected to grown, so we should decide where we can gather next time.'

Everyone was troubled. Of course, the Borrow didn't fit as the headquarters. To meet at public place was dangerous too. No, they definitely, needed home. The Order needed home, for protection, for shelter, for keeping their common secrets.

Remus had nothing to offer. He thought about parents' house, but gave up the idea immediately.

'I think I can help', Sirius brightened up. Everybody focused on him. He smiled. He always liked attention.

'I had my own house in the past, before I was sent to Azkaban. Although, lots of things happened after that…'

Remus remembered that house. Sirius moved there soon after he had got the fortune. Lupin used to live there for some time too. It was so many years ago.

'At the same time I found out about my mother's death, what's mean my family house must be empty now. Why shouldn't we use it, then?'

Dumbledore screwed up his eyes.

'Have you visited that place yet? Can it be dangerous?'

Sirius laughed.

'Depends what you consider to be dangerous. My family had quite specific opinion about all of that, as you know. So, if you are afraid of couple baits left by my crazy mother, we can have problems.'

Everybody laughed, and even Albus couldn't hide smile.

'What about the building as a whole? Was it damaged after years of desolation?'

Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

'I was going to visit it very soon. I suppose, the house should survive. My father protected it by all the spells he had ever known.'

'It sounds very encouraging', said Dumbledore. His voice sounded with warmth. 'Can we see it?'

'We can see it right now!'

Albus smiled. Despite all the troubles and bad temper, he liked Sirius for his bravery, loyalty and enthusiasm. That's why the Headmaster invited him and the rest of the Marauders to work in the first Order.

'Well, it's really good news after such a difficult day. But, as I think, we can start examining the house tomorrow'.

Dumbledore rose to his feet. The others followed him.

'It's very late. I think we all deserve a little rest. I'll send you Patronus to inform about the next meeting. Other connections could be unsafe. Molly, Arthur, thank you for your hospitality.'

The council was going to its end.

Remus was lost in thought. He suddenly realized one simple and horrible fact, something very important, something scary, something that had changed everything in one moment.

The war was getting closer.


	8. Chapter 8 Waiting for a new life

Chapter 8. Waiting for a new life

 _1995_

'You look so awful'.

Tonks was sitting on the opposite side of Moody's bed. Other patients had already left the hospital wing, so the former Auror was the only injured now. He looked really bad. Pale as a ghost, skinny, with irregular grey hair, Alastor found all his courage before he managed to look at Tonks.

'Really?' he snarled. Mad-Eye tried to sit on the bed. This attempt was too painful, and Moody was trying to grope for a shit in the way to catch it. Dora noticed that and helped the teacher to sit down. Moody broke into a sweat, he was angry, and he felt pain. Alastor had no desire to see anybody right now, Tonks especially. Her constant jokes were very inappropriate.

Tonks noticed his offence and let down. The glitter in her eyes vanished, hair lost its color, and the voice was trembling.

'Sorry, Mad-Eye. I just worried about you…'

Dora turned into a little child. Giving vent to her feelings, Tonks started to cry without hiding the salty tears. She really worried about Moody. Just heard the news about Mad-Eye, she apparated to Hogwarts immediately. Alastor was the person who really cared about Tonks. How she couldn't worry?

'C'mon, don't cry… stop it, Tonks!' Mad-Eye muttered, and Nymphadora noticed he hadn't been offended anymore. He hated to see the tears.

'Tell me, how have you managed to get into the trouble like that?'

Moody remembered the day when Dora arrived to say goodbye to him. The day when he lost his vigilance for the first time, the day when Crouch was watching him while Moody was too busy to notice it…

'I've got no idea how it's actually happened. May be, I'm just getting older', he answered, hiding the ugly truth.

Tonks moved her head.

'C'mon, Mad-Eye, are you going to die? Don't even dare! You won't get rid of me so easily!'

Looking at Nymphadora, Moody remembered about his last will he had written long time ago. He needed to make some changes…

'By the way,' he said, trying to change the subject, 'you're an experienced Auror. How could you not notice the difference between him and me?'

'Well, I don't have a magical eye!'

Tonks took an accurate look at the bedside table where Moody's eye lied, waiting for him.

'Do you remember what you said the last time you had seen me? Right, _constant vigilance'_ , she continued, coping his unpleasant nasty voice.

Mad-Eye rolled up his only eye.

'And what did your famous vigilance give to you?'

Alastor's reproach turned out to be Dora's main argument in the battle.

'You're getting crazy, Mad-Eye. That's your problem. We didn't communicate too much. You forbade me to write you the letters…'

'Well, I let you sent me postcards…'

'And I did! I sent you a present and a Christmas card! You sent me the answer, with that Sneakosope, remember? Thank you, by the way,' she laughed.

'Still joking, right? You could take pity on the old man. And, if want to know, it wasn't me who had sent the present, it was an impostor…'

'By the way, was he nice? I have no desire to accept gifts from ugly strangers. The Death Eater is not too bad, but ugly – no way!'

Tonks and Moody laughed.

'He's not your taste, I'm afraid. Not after the Dementor kiss...'

'Yeah, I'm sure I can't impress him after that…'

They laughed again, and Tonks noticed Moody was starting to be normal again. The man Dora saw half hour ago finally vanished, and old Moody was returning to her.

Madam Pomfrey emerged from the cabinet.

'Excuse me, Miss Tonks, but you have to leave now. The patient needs rest.'

Her tone was very serious and had no objections. Moody managed to pretend he didn't care about the fact that Tonks couldn't stay any longer.

She didn't believe it, of course.

'Well, then,' Dora got up. He found her hand and looked in Tonks's eyes for the first time. To her surprise, the young witch noticed not only pain, but gratitude too.

'Take Care, Mad-Eye', she said.

'Goodbye', he answered quietly, still holding her hand.

She hugged the former teacher. Just like one year before, Moody sighed but hugged her too.

'Take care of yourself, do you hear me?' he asked. Alastor's voice was unexpectedly soft, eve

n Madam Pomfrey, who was still standing near, was very surprised.

'Don't even dare to get into trouble!' the voice became rough again.

'Look who's taking', Dora said, smiling. 'And, by the way, should I return that Sneakosope to you?'

'No', he muttered. 'I was going to give it by myself…'

Tonks waved to him and went away from the hospital wing, stumbling.

* * *

She appeared at the Ministry next morning. Everybody in the atrium was discussing the Tournament's Final only. _Whispering_. Dora was listening to the dialogs but couldn't hear anything special. The wizards were repeating the same story over and over again. They didn't know the whole truth or, may be, didn't dare to say it loudly.

It was something strange about that, definitely. The Minister kept silent, Scrimgeour shut up like an ouster; somebody was pretending that nothing happened at all. Weird…

'Feel confused too, don't you?'

Dora woke up from her thoughts and found herself standing in the elevator. Arthur Weasley stood beside her and was trying to keep up conversation. There was no one else except them in the cabin, and only office memos were flying over the ceiling, striking against the elevator's cover.

Awkward, just like Nymphadora.

'Are you reading my thoughts?' she asked.

'Unfortunately, not', he said with a kind, sincere smile.

Tonks liked that friendly wizard with crooked glasses. Arthur helped Dora in the corridor time after time, helping the girl to keep on her feet. Mr. Weasley and Tonks usually had a word and discussed latest news. Dora felt she could be honest with Arthur who really reminded her own father. They have never been friends, but Tonks always knew she could trust him.

And Tonks knew about Arthur's strange hobby, of course. She even managed to bring him old muggle instruments.

'I can't read thoughts, but everybody is speaking about the Tournament only…'

Dora remembered that Sedric Diggory, the guy who died at the final, was a Hufflepuff student too. Professor Sprout must be broken- hearted. Dora knew how tactful and kind the teacher was. She even remembered that bright boy, but at the time Dora graduated Sedric was too young…

'So sad we don't know the whole information', she complained to Arthur. 'The truth is always better'.

Arthur turned pale. He started to examine Nymphadora, thinking about something. She didn't notice that, grieving about Hufflepuff loss.

'If you could know the truth… Could you believe in anything? Even if the truth must be horrible,' he asked accurately.

Dora smiled to him, although that smile seemed to be painful now.

'I know there is something wrong about that. I visited Mad-Eye yesterday and…'

Mr. Weasley was surprised about that.

'Do you know Alastor Moody?!'

She smiled again. Poor Arthur, he really didn't know anything…

'Of course', she answered in a very proud tone. 'I was his best student, actually.'

Arthur's face changed again. It brightened up; he smiled and looked very relieved.

'What did he tell you?' he asked.

'Well… Madam Pomfrey pushed me out very fast. But I know everything about the impostor and Moody's sufferings'.

There was a loud click heard, and the elevator cage stopped. It was Arthur's work. He came closer to Dora and whispered:

'Then you may want to know something more. Trust me, I've got a lot of interesting news. Let's meet after work, may be, about seven o'clock, near the muggle stadium. I have some work to do there… and I may need some Auror's help.'

Dora realized she has faced with something dangerous, something forbidden for the first time since she started to work there. Tonks became an Auror because of the need for the adventure, and she might have found it right now.

Despite her promise to be careful, Tonks nodded.

'I think dad has few old screwdrivers at home. I may bring it to you, if you wish'.

Arthur smiled. He touched his glasses, waved the wand, and the elevator continued its way down to the second level.

'It would be great. Thank you, Miss Tonks. I believe we can become very good friends.'

They left the cabin on the same level, pretending their conversation had never existed. Tonks was smart enough to understand that. Constant vigilance appeared to be a good advice, finally.

Tonks was struck by the thought something new was on its way; new life, possibly, was waiting for her just around the corner, and only one step was between them.


	9. Chapter 9 The Black family house

Chapter 9. The Black family house

After "accidental" meeting at the muggle stadium, Mr. Weasley and Tonks apparated to the Diagon Alley. Arthur was afraid to be heard and covered their tracks as good as possible.

Mr. Weasley told Nymphadora the whole truth after choosing the quietest place at the "The Leaky Cauldron". Tonks didn't have any reason to doubt about that. Being an Auror, Tonks was able to recognize when people were lying to her; she noticed Arthur's agitation and sweat on his white face. When the wizard finished his story, he looked like an old man.

'Do you believe us?' he asked and turned around nervously, checking the other side of the pub. Dora guessed Arthur wasn't the only Order's member who stayed here tonight. Somebody should be sitting in the pub, just for insurance.

Well, that was clever.

Tonks was disappointed. She imagined grown-up life as a quiet and boring place; only bright adventure could add some colors in it. Now she found out they were living under cumulonimbus cloud. Thunderstorm was coming closer. That feeling was a bit creepy. Tonks realized she hasn't known the real life yet.

But Nymphadora couldn't let anyone do some evil. Moreover, the situation was turning to be very personal. Alastor Moody, her teacher, spent a year in the Death Eater's hands. He was hurt and humiliated, although Moody has been a real legend in the wizard world.

Thinking about that, Tonks began to worry. Her hear was changing its color just like a garland. Arthur noticed it and watched the show through his old half - broken glasses.

Dora smiled.

'I'm in. When do we start?'

Arthur said the Headquarters had been already found. Tonks should arrive at the first meeting with Mad-Eye who was going to join the Order after his recovery.

'You'll receive the information through Mad-Eye, at least, for the first time. It's safer.'

Tonks rolled up her eyes.

'Thanks for this trouble, guys. We both know Moody gonna turn into paranoiac after all this story with the impostor.'

Mr. Weasley remembered something funny from the past.

'It seemed like it's never gonna be worse, right?'

'Who else is in the Order?' Tonks asked, without hiding the joy. Arthur frowned and moved restlessly in his chair. He turned round again.

'We can't discuss it right here, it's too dangerous. We'll introduce you to everybody when the time comes. Don't worry, you'll like our company.'

'Oh, I can meet somebody well-known, can I?' she asked, smiling. That thought was amazing. It could be everyone, including her neighbours or colleagues…

'Well, sort of', answered Arthur with a kind smile. 'There are a lot of members in the Order, including very… popular wizards of our time.'

This news sounded shocking and exiting at the same time. What If they managed to involve her favourite singer in the Order? Or Quiddich player? Tonks liked the idea to meet a celebrity.

'Where are we going?' she asked Moody few days after his return to London.

As was predicted, Mad-Eye turned mad about their safety. The wizards have been apparating from one place to another for an hour, trying to be off the sent.

'Clear. I don't see any tail', Moody answered, ignoring her questions. Mad-Eye was still ill, painfully looking. He turned thin, and his long old cloak was baggy.

'Of course, it's not. Do you think the Death Eaters will apparate through the whole city like us? It's ridiculous, Mad-Eye.'

'It's not funny, Tonks.'

Moody's hands were shaking. He was still damaged but didn't want to admit it. Alastor noticed Tonks's pity glance and sighed.

'All right. We can go. Everything seems to be fine…'

Moody offered Dora a hand, preparing for a side-along apparation.

'Are you kidding me?' Side-along apparation? I'm not a child anymore!'

The stomach fell away and jumped to the other planet. Air disappeared too. Ears were pressing; Tonks was drowning, falling down and flying at the same time.

Moody and Nymphadora apparated to the place Tonks have never been.

'I have never called you a child. Take this and read', said Moody and gave her a thick piece of parchment.

' _The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London'._

'What a bold hand', noticed Dora, reading it.

Moody took the paper away and burnt it immediately.

'You'd better be more attentive.'

Dora turned her eyes to the houses with numbers 11 and 13. It was the right time to see the moment when house with number 12 was appearing between them. The house was old and looked shaggy in front of the neighbours. But it was here, in the very heart of London, and it was great.

'Wow', Dora cried out.

'Quiet!'

Mad-Eye stood motionless unless transformation was finished. He pretended to be calm, but the magical Eye shown all his anxiety. When the house appeared in full, Alastor went to the door, leaning on the stick. Tonks run after him. She was so encouraged, that almost fell off from the steps.

Moody predicted it and caught her at the last minute.

'It's not me!' Tonks lied immediately. 'It's too slippery here!'

Moody checked the street again.

'You need to be accurate in the corridor. There can be some… problems.'

'I never have problems!'

Moody smiled for the first time.

'Let's find it out.'

He opened the door and went in. Dora stepped inside, copying every move of the teacher. The corridor was empty and smelled of dust. Tonks nearly sneezed.

'What a wonderful place…' she said, looking at the moth-eaten curtains.

Arthur Weasley appeared at the end of the corridor. He smiled and whispered:

'We were waiting for you only…'

They went downstairs, to the kitchen, probably.

'I needed to be sure we wouldn't have any trail', said Moody without any sorry.

Tonks made a face showing she was tired enough of this adventure.

'I've seen everything', answered Moody, stepping down. Arthur and Dora giggled.

She appeared at the kitchen, as dusty and dark as the corridor. Only the fire gave the room some light. Tonks noticed a long table; wizards of different age were sitting at it, waiting for the last guests.

Albus Dumbledore was sitting at the head of the table. He looked at the wizards through the half-moon spectacles and said:

'Here you are! Joined us at last. Nymphadora…'

Tonks turned red. She was shocked to find out the Headmaster remembered her name. The wizards turned their heads to the girl, and Dora felt a bit uncomfortable. She tried to smile, waved to them and felt even worse. The Order members will think she is just a child…

'I didn't expect you to know my name, Professor.'

Albus was serious, but his old wise eyes were laughing. Waiting for Moody and Tonks to sit down, he answered:

'Memory is a very strange thing. To be honest, I don't know the names of all students who graduated from Hogwarts. But those who put yourself on record by their discipline will be always remembered by my heart.'

Dora smiled. She studied well at the school. It was the only way to become an Auror. But she certainly had some episodes with breaking rules…

Someone took the phrase as referring to himself and laughed. Tonks looked forward and noticed the wizard she has never expected to see. It was Sirius Black, the most dangerous criminal in the world. That strange laugh was his, Tonks was sure.

Dumbledore noticed her studying look.

'We need to be introduced to each other, I think. Alastor, you didn't tell Nymphadora anything about the members, did you?'

'I'm not going to talk about the Order on the threshold', Moody answered. Alastor closed his normal eye, while the magical one was working in full, examining the dusty kitchen.

'Well, we can calm down about our safety now', said Albus. Tonks guessed he was also tired of "constant vigilance", and, may be, found situation a bit funny.

'Let's start introduction, then. Nymphadora, you must know this wizard already…'

Kingsley Shacklebolt was sitting on the right, smiling, his eyes laughing at her.

'You were threatening to leave me at the office today!' Tonks cried out, pretending to be offended.

Kingsley created the whole scandal at the Auror center, arguing with Tonks about the last office memo. He said Dora must rewrite it again or she would stay at work till the early morning.

Kingsley winked at her.

'You need to keep the distance from me at work', he said, bending down to the witch.

'Oh, it's not a problem, not at all. I may pretend that I hate you, if you like!'

The most dangerous wizard laughed again, making Dora give him a glance. She tried to look indifferently, but curiosity won.

Sirius stretched Tonks a hand.

'I think we have never met before.'

Tonks liked it. Mister Black considered her as a grown-up, and it was great. Dora gave him hesitating smile and strong handshake.

'Your face seems to be very familiar to me', she joked.

Kingsley laughed loudly. Tonks pretended to talk only to him.

'It's the wizard we are trying to catch, right?'

'Exactly.'

'Great!'

'Sirius Black – Nymphadora Tonks', Albus introduced them to each other officially.

Sirius frowned.

'Tonks?' Black repeated. His face changed just like he had been hit.

'Could I hear better news than that?'

Tonks didn't understand what's going on.

'I know Andromeda. We haven't seen for ages,' Sirius explained.

'Do you know my mother?!' Dora cried out.

On, no. It was bad. Very bad. Sirius seemed to be so cool, but lost his beauty in a second. It would be better for him to be the real criminal than mom's old friend! Who knows what Dromeda has told him about Nymphadora…

Tonks couldn't hide her disappointment. The girl's hair turned red. The Order members revived and were examining it with a delight.

'Andromeda and Sirius are cousins', said Moody, noticing Dora's amusement. 'By the way, it's the reason why you're not involved in the shadowing.'

'So, I'm suspected too? Awesome!'

Tonks has never expected the real reason would be so funny.

'It seems so. At least, we are sitting at the same table. It's very dangerous, you know,' said Sirius with a smile.

Everybody laughed. The situation was ridiculous, but very funny.

Albus Dumbledore interfered into the conversation to explain some little details.

'I'm not going to repeat the whole story again, but need to remind the main facts. Sirius Black is on our side. The real traitor of the Potter family was Peter Pettigrew. We found it out a year ago where Remus Lupin played a considerable role…'

Dumbledore pointed on the man who was sitting on the left to Sirius Black. They were of the same age, perhaps, although Remus's hear was glittering with grey. Noticed Tonks's glance, he smiled modestly, just like Lupin wasn't sure he had played a big role in the fighting for justice.

Tonks liked his reaction on the compliment. People usually too selfish to stay objective.

'… he was teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts before was replaced by Alastor Moody…'

All attention was paid to Mad-Eye at that time, and Nymphadora didn't know who had left that place and why. But teaching DADA was cool, and Mr. Lupin rose in Tonks's estimation immediately.

She gave him a smile, very sincere.

Albus continued to introduce the members to each other. There was Arthur's wife, Molly, among them. It was a woman with a kind face and very attentive look. She took her eyes off Dora's hair and was examining the kitchen with some sort of disguise. The mess and dust made Molly feel very uncomfortable here.

'I suspect Voldemort to continue gaining the information about Harry. He lost everything because of the boy. Yes, he's got a new body now…'

Remus turned pale, Sirius screwed up his face. Pain was printed on their faces like a masks. They were thinking about the same. Peter, that ugly traitor…

'… but Voldemort is not a fool. He knows Harry is still his enemy, and the main chance to win a battle is to study the enemy as much as possible.'

'Do you think he will attack?' asked Sturgis Podmore.

The Headmaster moved his head.

'Not yet. His position is too weak. Voldemort will try to reach his main aim. Everything began with a Prophesy… He'll continue the research, I suppose.'

Albus's face was concentrated; he went deep into his own, known only to him, thoughts. It created the barrier between the Headmaster and the members. At the same time everybody could see how wise Dumbledore was. No one could rich his mind.

'He'll try everything to reach the Prophesy. Our task today is to prevent it.'

Albus's words were simple, logical and very difficult to admit. The Department of Mysteries was a hidden place, unknown for the strangers. Only now Tonks realized that the whole Ministry meant nothing to Voldemort, and all of them were in danger, much more serious than they have ever expected.


	10. Chapter 10 Seriously smitten

Chapter 10. Amused, impressed and seriously smitten

Two wizards stood in a shadow, waiting for reinforcement. They waited in silence, wrapped in road cloaks. It was getting cold in the evening, and bitter frost was touching their skin.

Mad-Eye heard some noise and twitched. Remus guessed Moody had moved his hand with a wand, preparing for a sudden battle.

It appeared to be just a cat. Moody sighed and continued waiting. Poor Alastor. Remus knew what happen to the old Auror. The only idea Mad-Eye to be defeated sounded horrible. Mad-Eye, the one whose name sounded like terror for the Death Eaters became so easy aim for the dark side. It meant their enemy turned out to be much stronger than he was before. It meant anybody could get hurt, anybody could…

…die? That thought made Remus smile. Oh, he wasn't afraid of death. Why you should be afraid of something you can't avoid? Moreover, Lupin had nothing to loose. He was ill, lonely and desperately unhappy. Nobody cared about him.

Remus sighed. He felt a resistant bitter inside of the mouth, and only good chocolate could kill it. Remus persuaded himself to accept the truth, but nervous shiver run over his body, betraying him. Nobody can deal with such an ugly life.

Fortunately, there was the only one good thing about that. Remus was so hopeless and unhappy that even Death would accept him with some displeasure. There was nothing else she could take with him. No grief, no fear, no despair in the end…

Someone apparated near a broken lantern. Remus and Moody revived.

'Finally', said Alastor. 'That's weird. Kingsley has never been late…'

The figure was getting near, and the Order members realized it wasn't Kingsley at all. The young witch saw them, waved and stepped closer.

Remus had no idea how to react on that while Moody didn't worry at all. He was almost angry and didn't accept Tonks's appearance.

'What are you doing here?' Alastor asked. 'We have been waiting for Kingsley.'

'Hello for you too, Mad-Eye.'

Remus felt awkward again. Tonks's kindness, her easy character and generosity were so catching. He couldn't stay away from it. From another side, that frivolity with Moody looked strange. Lupin has known Alastor since the first Order, and nobody could even dream about the attitude like that. It was so unbelievable…

Dora turned round and smiled to Remus – just like she smiled to someone else. Lupin nodded and felt relieved.

'Scrimgeour made Shacklebolt stay in the office. Some very important meeting, he said. Kingsley told me to apparate here instead of him.'

Moody stayed gloomy. He turned away and made his way to the village. Alastor was still angry at Tonks.

'Haven't you realized we have been waiting for Kingsley for a purpose? There are the Death Eaters sneaking around this place. Only Merlin knows what's going on inside of their heads. Do you think you can manage with all of them just like Shacklebolt himself?'

Remus followed slowly after Moody, but Dora continued to stay few steps away from him. Lupin turned around and faced her glance. Tonks didn't want to give up.

'Do you want to see Kingsley? All right!'

Tonks screw up her face just like she ate a lemon instead of chocolate. A second later there was Shacklebolt's copy wearing a ragged shirt. Well, he always had an eccentric stile, but…

Remus laughed hoarsely. Moody stopped and watched Nymphadora with his magical eye. There was a loud sigh heard.

'All right, you can go with us. But give up your tricks, Tonks!'

Dora laughed too and caught up Lupin with two steps. Moody was moving ahead, examining the territory.

'I'm curious, what the Death Eaters do at Godric's Hollow?'

Staying on the edge of the village, the wizards used a Disillusionment Charm and turned to the main street. The square was empty. There were the voices heard from the local pub, and Remus dropped his eyes immediately. His stomach fell, the shiver run over his hands. Lupin was here may times, years ago, visiting Lily and James, young, healthy, full of plans…

Lupin was going ahead, trying not to look at the monument in the middle of the square and, therewith, at the cemetery. Lupin volunteered to go to the mission, because he was needed by the Order. He had to keep control. If Lupin lifts up his eyes – he is lost. No, it's better for the Potters to stay alive, there, inside of his heart. Remus should let them live in the letter Lily had sent him, or inside of the old dark photos. But not here, not in the double cold grave that have never be able to show the size of the Potters kindness.

Lupin raised his eyes only when they passed the cemetery and appeared on the other side of the village. Lupin noticed Tonks was watching him all the time. She was pale; Dora seemed to realize all Remus's pain.

He didn't want to take her pity. Remus needed to keep strong. Yeah, he needed…

Moody stopped and waved a hand, probably.

'Don't move! They are very close!'

They froze, trying to stay motionless. There were two wizards staying near the broken building. Yeah, old James's and Lily house. Each Death Eater was wrapped in a long road cloak, their heads hidden in the hoods.

'Let's divide and move ahead from different sides. Tonks…'

'Be careful, I know.'

Remus imagined Tonks to roll up her eyes. Alastor moved on the right. Lupin caught Nymphadora and showed her to step on the left. There was a sigh heard, but Tonks did what Remus showed. Lupin stayed in the middle, harmless in the case of a sudden attack.

They came closer and listened.

'I don't understand why we should examine the house again…' said the tall one.

'The Dark Lord is interested in this place. Do you want him to get into Dumbledore's trap?' asked the other.

When Bathilda Bagshot contacted with the Order and told about the Death Eaters, Dumbledore sent the strongest wizards to find out what's going on. By Albus's opinion, Voldemort was planning to revisit the village again. If he desired to get the Prophesy he needed to start from the end…

'There are no snares here. The Order members are not as clever as you think about them'.

'Well, but _the_ _old man_ is cleverer than any of us.'

'Look', said the first one, pointing at the gate.' There are lots of writings here. 'Keep strong, Harry.' 'We believe in you.'

'What if we leave a course here? We could catch all the rats that are leaving the messages. I beg it must be mudbloods…'

Lupin hasn't noticed his fists to clinch.

The third Death Eater came from the courtyard.

'Clear. I think we can…'

Something cracked on the left. Remus's heart sank. Tonks hasn't taken the promise to stay careful. Before he moved, the Death Eater sent a curse into Nymphadora's side.

Without understanding what he was doing, Remus cried out:

 _'Protego!'_

The second curse came from Mad-Eye's side. Their common power helped to rebound the curse from Tonks. It was good, but Lupin and Moody had been compromised immediately. The Death Eaters turned their wands to them. Remus jumped away, and the next curse passed by. Someone, Dora, perhaps, made a new shield, and the portion of charms went back to the dark wizards. Remus heart Moody's heavy breathing who was sending curses and trying to move from one side to another. Now he was glad to spend a year in the trunk. Mad-Eye became thin and swifter.

 _'Expulso!'_

 _'Confundo!'_

 _'Stupefy!'_

The wind took off the hood of one Death Eater. Tonks cried out with a triumph. Dora, Moody and Lupin came closer to the opponents but didn't have a clear advantage yet. Tonks seemed to find it now.

Remus was watching the moment when Tonks took off her disguise and became visible again. Next moment she turned into Nott, whose face was open now. It created some sort of shock among Death Eaters, and Remus realized the whole plan. Tonks created a pause, and they needed use it.

' _Stupefy!_ ' cried out Remus and Moody, pointing the wands at the wizards.

' _Confundo!_ ' pronounced Tonks, finishing the last one. His face became empty. The man started to gaze around without understanding what was going on.

'Are you kidding me, Tonks?' hushed Moody. Just like Lupin, he became visible again. 'Where did you learn to endanger yourself?'

'It's called counterattack', Tonks was out of breath, but very happy. She became herself again, girl's bright hair were shining in the dark.

'But it worked, Mad-Eye!'

Remus gazed at Tonks with a surprise. To be honest, everything could go wrong. The girl risked herself without any hesitation. Lupin imagined Tonks wounded or even dead and felt that ugly gall in the mouth again.

'Fine', Moody sighed. 'Let's clean the place.'

They came closer to the Death Eaters. The first one was unconscious, the second stood numbness. The last, unlucky one, stumbled on the partner and was examining him with a childish surprise.

'What's we gonna do?' asked Dora.

'Let's use a _Confundo_ you had used already. It must be Macnair…'

'Right', Lupin nodded. He remembered Walden since the early days. 'It's pointless to delete their memory. If we do, they won't remember they have been here already.'

'Then we should send them to their master.' Dora said. 'We change their memory a bit, that's all. They will tell the story how someone has attacked them. It means Voldemort won't go here anymore. Dumbledore fooled him.'

'Good. The idea is not very clean, but it's fine. Let's start working.'

Moody, Lupin and Tonks came to each Death Eater.

'Make them forget the unnecessary details and scatter. _Confundo_ will do it. In the count 'three'…'

They pointed the wands on them.

'Forget you had seen us…'

'Someone attacked you, but you don't remember the face…'

'The house was clean, but you were caught in the trap in the very end…'

The Death Eaters' faces were empty. They nodded, accepting all the theories they just had heart and prepared for desapparation.

'Good', said Moody when the dark wizards vanished. 'Now we can go home too.'

The work was done. Remus, Alastor and Nymphadora only needed to say goodbye.

Tonks waved to Lupin just like she did before, but something changed. Dora was so brave, so talented and so reckless that Remus could not to adore her today. The young witch rose in his estimation, and Lupin was happy to share the mission with her. He was amazed, impressed and seriously smitten. What a wonderful girl, that Nymphadora…


	11. Chapter 11 The Plan

Chapter 11. The Plan

Remus and Tonks were coming back from the first joint mission since the events at Godric's Hollow. They moved fast, Tonks – talking all the time, Remus – quietly, listening to Nymphadora very attentively.

Tonks appeared to be very communicative. She was able to speak for hours. Only few people could survive such pressure, but somehow Tonks managed to charm all the Order members.

Remus was quiet, but he liked to listen. He wasn't a very chatty, actually. Lupin didn't have anything to speak about, so the wizard was listening to the girl, trying to remember every little detail.

Well, he felt some sympathy for her too. Just like the others.

'…I had excellent marks, even when Moody was our teacher. Concealment and Disguise were my favourite courses. But I had some little problems with Stealth and Tracking, as I recall...'

Both remembered the trouble that happened at the meeting with the Death Eaters.

'But I won't blow it anymore, I promise!' added Tonks, justifying herself. 'I haven't dropped anything in this dusty corridor since that day.'

Remus smiled. Yeah, the corridor in the house had lots of barriers. Sirius and Lupin have tried to rip off Mrs. Black's portrait, using all the courses they ever remembered, but the wizards failed. It's impossible to get rid of the Permanent Sticking Charm.

'By the way, why were you absent the last time we went to the mission?' Dora asked, and Remus had to forget about his own thoughts.

'It was soon after our task at Godric's Hollow. I don't understand it! You showed yourself very well. Mad-Eye and Dumbledore trust you. Why haven't they taken you?'

There was nothing special in that question, but Lupin disappointed immediately. His smile changed its colour and became forced. Tiredness reappeared on his face, and there was the reason for that. They came to the topic Remus wished he had never discussed. The Order members tried not to mention his 'furry problem', and Lupin was grateful for that. And now Tonks reminded him about it, just like scratched off the wound that never would heal again.

'I had my own mission, singe one. Moreover, I couldn't stay here for a while', he explained evasively.

Tonks looked at Lupin with a real surprise. He met her glance and realized he was surprised even more than her. He understood everything, at last.

Merlin, she doesn't know anything. May be, that's why Nymphadora has been so kind to him? _Tonks doesn't know._ That idea was simple and horrifying. Remus was confused. What should he say? How can Lupin explain he's a monster?

Remus looked at Nymphadora again, trying to put himself together. She was waiting for the answer.

'Hasn't anyone told you? I'm a werewolf', he said.

To Remus's surprise, his voice sounded calm and relaxed. It was his talent. The ability to stay calm, even when you're burning inside.

He watched Tonks's face to change. She turned pale and froze without understanding how to react on that news. Lupin felt pain inside of his heart. Well, there was nothing to be surprised… He was a monster. What else could he say?

Dora was speechless. She wanted to say something but couldn't find any words. Remus smiled with sadness printed on his face and shook his head. It was good Tonks hasn't started to feel pity for him. Thanks for that.

The conversation was broken. Remus went ahead, hastening his steps. Tonks woke and followed him.

'I didn't know that, I'm sorry', she said in a very hoarse voice. 'I should have remembered…'

Oh, yeah, it had been in the papers. He didn't feel better.

'It's okay', Remus lied.

Unsuccessfully. But never mind. There was no turn back.

Oh, yeah, it was in the papers. Nymphadora remembered something like that. Damn Mad-Eye! She was focused on him at that time, worrying about Moody's teaching at Hogwarts. Tonks didn't follow anything concerning the former DADA teacher, she was too busy. It was so awkward…

Tonks looked at him by stealth and noticed how much disappointed Lupin was. It was only her fault. He must be hates to speak about that…

'We're arrived'.

Lupin showed to the door avoiding giving her a hand. Remus kept a distance, afraid to hurt her. Damn. It was getting worse.

When they stepped on the stairs, she asked:

'When is the next full moon?'

That question surprised Remus again. He frowned but answered. Of course, he knew everything about full moon.

'In the end of the first decade. August, 10, to be correct... Why do you ask?'

The question sounded ridiculous, and Lupin couldn't imagine why Tonks had asked that. He couldn't read her thoughts – again – and it baffled Lupin. What if she decided to play safe and keep the distance when he will be going to turn into wolf?'

He opened the door and let Tonks to push through. She went in and switched on the light waiting for Lupin to finish closing the door and finally turn to her.

She smiled.

'I just wanted to know when you'll be absent. I'll miss you.'

 _I will miss you._ These four words made Lupin look in Tonks's eyes for the first time. Confession appeared to be too controversial or he just imagined that all. Remus looked at her, in disbelief, waiting for Tonks to disappear. But the girl was here, in that old remote corridor...

'They are here. We can start', said Moody who was able to look through the walls.

As a real gentleman, Remus let Dora pass first again.

'Thanks,' she answered flattered with his gallantry. As usually, Lupin haven't noticed that and followed Tonks. The meeting was beginning.

'We're back'.

Dumbledore stood in front of the mantel, thinking about something, taking his hands under his back. He turned round when heard Remus's and Tonks steps.

'We have done the task. Passed all what you have said.'

'Good. We have got news too,' he answered immediately, and Tonks's joy about finishing the mission disappeared.

They should have guessed it. If Albus was here it meant there was something special had happened. Especially when the Headmaster was hiding his face. That trick was well-known.

Except Sirius, Moody and Dumbledore, there was Kingsley here, and also Arthur and Molly Weasley. Everybody looked worried. Sirius has been annoying. He was balancing on his chair, rising a little, almost falling and turning back with a loud bang. He was so angry that didn't noticed when Remus slapped the wizard on his shoulder and set near. Nymphadora made herself on the opposite side, closer to Shacklebolt.

Mad-Eye was sitting at the head, not far from the fireplace.

Members told Remus and Tonks about dementors' attacks on Harry and his cousin. Sirius was pale and started to get angrier with every second. Lupin was shocked. Dementors in a little town? All bright feelings left Remus's head. Concern about Harry replaced it. Good that he had learned Harry to create a Patronus charm…

'How did he repel the attack?' Tonks asked. She worried about the boy too; her eyes seemed to look bigger on her pale face.

'I learned him', explained Remus quietly. 'More than a year ago, at Hogwarts.'

'Wow!' Tonks cried out. That charm was usually studied after the graduation. 'But it's very difficult! He must be very smart…'

Sirius gave Lupin a piece of parchment he had been holding in his hands. Lupin looked closely and recognized some very familiar handwriting. He was struck when remembered who had the stile like that. Harry was writing the letters just like his mother although he didn't know it. Lily…

'Hedwig brought it a couple of hours ago, for me, Hermione and Ron.'

 _I've just been attacked by Dementors and I might be expelled from Hogwarts. I want to know what's going on and when I'm going to get out of here._

Black was clutching his teeth. He continued talking about the necessity to bring Harry here. Dumbledore denied his plans over and over again, adding the note about the fact Harry must stay on the Private Drive for some time. Molly called Sirius's worries nothing else like simple egoism. She believed Black cared only about himself, trying to drive the boy to this house.

'What is going to happen to Harry?' asked Remus. He worried about the boy as much as Sirius although he wasn't his Godfather.

Dumbledore came back to the fireplace. He found the fire a much more interesting thing that the Order members. It made Sirius furious but the Headmaster seemed to not notice Black's anger.

'We took measures', said Mad-Eye. 'Bill Weasley is watching him now. The boy is going to be safe.'

'I have told you it was going to happen,' Sirius said. He looked at Dumbledore or, to be correct, at his silver cloak. If his glance could create fire, the cloak would be burned.

'So we should allow him to suffer in that prison?'

'The fact he stays in muggles' house doesn't mean he is in danger', Moody tried to calm him down. Black interrupted Mad-Eye without any shame.

'Really? Ok, I will ask the question again. Is anybody here care about Harry?!'

Molly blushed. Moody looked at Sirius intently. Remus wanted to answer Black, but Kingsley reacted first.

'There are lots of people here who care about Harry, Sirius. They worry too.'

Suddenly Remus remembered that Tonks and he hadn't met children in the corridor. It's time to worry. The Weasley kids and Hermione were his former students, and Lupin knew them well. They couldn't deal with the fact they weren't invited to the meeting…

'Where's Hermione and Ron?' he asked sure that Molly would answer about all kids.

'They went to their bedrooms. I have checked,' said Molly in a sure voice. 'I confiscated that disgusting thing from the twins, so everything's gonna be all right.'

She mentioned Extendable Ears, of course, a new twins' invention. Last week Molly noticed the kids to listen to the Order members with help of that stuff and confiscated it. Remus hid his eyes, pretending to examine the table. He knew Molly was short-sighed. Yeah, she confiscated a couple of Extendable Ears, but Remus knew children logic. He was a kid too and, as a former 'Marauder', Lupin believed twins had much more Extendable Ears than Molly have ever imagined.

He met Tonks's eyes and realized she was thinking about that too. Dora smiled. Remus sighed, trying to pretend serious. While being the professor he took a fancy to children and started to be a forced participant of their tricks.

'I think we can rescue Harry', said Dumbledore after a long pause. Sirius breathed freely.

Albus turned to Mad-Eye.

'How much time do we need to prepare this mission?'

'Few days, I suppose. We need to examine the whole territory…'

Tonks rolled up her eyes.

'… and to find the members for it. I would like to create two groups, just for insurance.'

'Good', Albus nodded. 'I would be pleased if you start to organize the operation. You are the most experienced in this question.'

'Great!' Sirius said. 'I'm volunteering!' Black raised his hand.

'Do you want to endanger Harry?' Moody asked. 'The most famous criminal will attract too much attention. Ideal lighthouse, don't you think?'

'Alastor is right. That's not a good idea', Dumbledore agreed with his old friend. ' Sirius has to stay and wait for Harry here.'

"I'll be on my duty, I'm afraid', Arthur looked in Dumbledore's eyes, apologizing. Albus nodded, accepting that awkward refusal. He knew Arthur would do everything to go rescue Harry too, but Mr. Weasley had also some very important tasks to fulfill.

'Kingsley and I can go, I'm quite sure! And Remus. We cannot go without him', said Tonks without any confusion.

Dumbledore was studying her for a while, and, finally, nodded.

'I agree. Alastor?'

Moody was the last one to accept the proposal.

'I don't mind. We need just to add a couple of experienced wizards, and…'

'C'mon, Mad-Eye! Let's rescue Harry by the whole Order! Just in case.'

'It's called consolidation. You'll thank me'.

Moody stayed calm about Dora's speeches.

'All right. We disscussed the main problems. Molly and I will stay here, for baking,' Sirius continued. 'How are you going to do this?'

'Floo powder network is not a good variant. The Ministry controls it', said Kingsley.

'Apparation is forbidden too,' added Moody.

'What about a Portkey?' asked Dora.

Dumbledore shook his head.

'We all can get in a trouble because of creating illegal Portkey.'

'Use brooms, then', said Arthur.

'Is Harry capable of flying?' Shacklebolt stared at Lupin. Except the Weasley family and Miss Granger, he knew the boy better than anybody else.

'Harry flies perfectly!' cried Remus and Sirius together and laughed. The mutual memory caused warm. Their faced brightened up for a moment. Harry wasn't only their hope. He was continuation of James and Lily. Their real family.

'I think, the question is decided', Albus smiled too. 'What's about camouflage?'

'Harry's got an Invisibility cloak.'

'Not good. It will be torn away.'

'Then Disillusionment Charm will go.'

'We forgot about Harry's relatives…' Molly interfered. The only thought of the Dursleys made her sick. 'They won't be happy to meet you on the threshold.'

Dora's eyes widened.

'Oh, let me do this!' She looked at Moody with all devotion she has ever had. 'Mad-Eye, please! I will do everything right! You know, I've got an excellent mark on that course…'

'Of course, I do. Why do you need this, Tonks?'

'Well, it's gonna be so much fun! I won't let you down!'

Nymphadora really tried to impress the former teacher. She even changed her face form trying to look more sorrowful. Albus was watching her with amazement and proud. He considered Tonks's abilities as a rare talent.

'If Nymphadora is so persistent, we can deliver her this important mission. She is an experienced Auror and knows the difference between allowed and the stuff that you should never use on muggles.'

Tonks was nodding, promising the Headmaster to be a good girl.

'I'll be watching you, Tonks,' said Alastor with a serious look. In his opinion, Albus gave up too soon.

Grateful Dora started to change her hair color rapidly, so fast, that everyone was watching rainbow.

'Yes, sir!'

Everybody laughed.

'This time everything is much funnier, don't you think?' Sirius whispered to Lupin.

Remus smiled.

Right. This time everything seemed to be absolutely different.


	12. Chapter 12 Muggle Competition

Chapter 12. Muggle Competition

Returned to her room at the 'Leaky Cauldron', Tonks was trying to sleep. After a filling dinner at the Burrow Dora's eyes were heavy, but now all the dreams vanished into thin air.

The witch hated that state. Tonks knew she would think about her parents first. Nymphadora left the family house about nine months ago. It was her victory. Tonks didn't have to hear complaints about the mess in her bedroom, late arrivals or too bright hair color, and it was awesome.

Dora could find another place to stay, more comfortable and nice, but the room at the 'Leaky Cauldron' seemed to be a very good variant for the girl. Tonks liked the company. Moreover, she didn't have to bother herself with cooking or cleaning the house. Halleluiah! It's a perfect life, isn't it?

Sleep was gone, taking away calm too. No, she loved parents, of course. Daddy was so understanding and so kind. Tonks really missed that big old slovenly. And mum… they were just too different, that's all. Andromeda and Tonks may deal with each other one day. Yeah, one day… Nymphadora wrapped up. She needed to stop thinking about that or sleep would never come.

She remembered Remus instead. Tonks was delaying those thoughts, hiding them somewhere inside. And now that horrible box opened, releasing all fear.

Tonks was learning something new about the Order members day by day. For example, Sirius could be very nice, at least, if he wanted to. Tonks found a lot of similar between him and Andromeda. Dora noticed the same coldness and arrogance she managed to see in her mum sometimes. But, to be honest, that feature was very suitable for a man. Uncle Sirius seemed to be very charming…

Remus was absolutely different. He has never been eye-catching and tried to hide in the darkness. Tonks considered this as modesty, but she was wrong. He was a _werewolf_. Tonks remembered the horrible pictures she have seen while studying a new course. Their teachers were always repeating the fact that werewolves weren't human at all, and communication with them was too dangerous. _Monsters._ Bitten by werewolf was even worse than to be a leper. Tonks was learned to be afraid of them. She had no idea what to do now.

 _Hasn't anyone told you? I'm a werewolf._

Hoarse voice sounded inside of Tonks's head. Her heart sank. She felt ashamed suddenly; ashamed of that speechless moment, when Lupin told the girl about his illness; ashamed she was thinking of werewolves badly. Lupin was so ill… But Remus was so polite, so gallant, so understanding. Remus was humane and better than the biggest part of her friends. Tonks was blushing. Remus didn't deserve to be feared or pitied. He was an amazing wizard. He deserved to be respected.

Falling asleep, Nymphadora decided she should treat Remus as a norml person. Tonks wanted to forget that embarrassing moment. Eventually, it was only prejudice, that's all. Big deal, werewolf…

* * *

Arthur caught her in the elevator. He noticed Tonks and jumped in the last moment before the doors closed.

'Great, there is noone's here except you … Moody has just sent me a massage. He prepared everything for the mission. It's time for you to make the Dursleys leave the house'.

Tonks smiled.

'Awesome. Tell Moody I'll do everything. It's gonna be great!'

'Do you have any plan?' Arthur asked accurately and looked around again, as though he was searching for muggle cameras. 'The Dursley family is quite... eccentric.'

Dora laughed. Twins told her about their joke with the sweet about a year ago.

'I know. Don't worry, Arthur. I have a plan.'

Woke up yesterday morning, Tonks caught a great inspiration. She realized that a good task can make all troubles fade. Nymphadora spent her lunch time not far from the Dursleys house, examining muggles and inventing a good reason for them to leave their home.

One conversation was especially remarkable.

'How are you, Vernon?' asked his neighbour, leaning on the hedge. Mr. Dursley stepped closer. 'I haven't' seen Dudley for a while.'

Mr. Dursley made a strange face... or he might had such an idiot look all the time. Dora nearly laughed, watching him. Taking a bite of sandwich she had brought with herself, Tonks continued listening.

Of course, Vernon was afraid to show his dear son to strangers. Dudley felt really bad after his meeting with the dementors.

'He…hmm… is preparing for a new school year, you know. Doesn't want to miss anything', he blurted out.

'Oh, that's great. But Dudley can't spend his vacations in vain. Although…' the neighbour smiled. 'You may be right leaving him inside of the house. This horrible weather destroyed everything. Look at this…'

The grass turned yellow and dried up. Vernon bustled and started to examine his lawn just like trying to find a glittering diamond. It was as ugly and empty as neighbor's, but Mr. Dursleys said:

'That's right. But I'm lucky, you know. We have been taking care of the lawn for the whole summer. It's not like the others did…'

The neighbour was offended.

'Well, you must expect the invitation, then', he said sarcastically. 'The contest, you know. Best Kept Lawn Competition'.

Still offended, the neighbour went to his house. That words affected on Vernon in a very strange way. He didn't realized sarcasm and stood still, despite of the risk to get a sunburn. His face changed, his cheeks looked flabby. Vernon woke up only when Petunia called for help.

'Vernon, I need your here, darling!'

'What? Ah, yeah… coming… Best Kept Lawn… award…'

Talking to himself, he came back to the house. Dora smiled. She knew what to do.

When Arthur gave her the permission, Tonks had a day ahead to finish her task. She didn't have to use magic and could try muggle post instead. Nymphadora created a fake invitation to the event that could make Vernon lose his head.

The Dursleys family was invited to the All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition.

She could bet muggles would believe in it.

* * *

Tonks arrived at the Greyhound very early. Even Moody hasn't apparated here yet. Tonks was flattered. She was so professional than could outrun even the former teacher.

'Come here, darling', said Molly, whispering. 'But stay quiet, please. She is turning mad today. Has been shouting the whole morning…'

There was a noise sound heard from the curtains.

'They shame my noble family… Merlin, I hate them all... I'm going to lose my mind…'

'We would be pleased if you do. You make me mad even after your death!'

Sirius was standing in the corridor too. He must be decided to irritate everyone and meet guests with his best insolent look. Dumbledore forbade Black to participate in the mission. _Again._

Despite his anger, Black gave Tonks a hand, helping to reach the kitchen safely.

'What's about muggles? Have you decided how to make them leave?' he asked when they sat at the table.

Nymphadora noticed the box with cookies and took a couple.

'Don't worry. '

While eating, she told Sirius about the fake letter. Weird, but uncle managed to understand the words although her mouth was filled with cookies.

He laughed, when Dora finished her story.

'What's going on?' somebody asked, stepping down to the kitchen.

The biscuit stuck in her throat. Tonks started to cough trying to find precious air. Tears reached her eyes.

'Sorry', said Remus, stepping closer and slapping Tonks on the back accurately. He looked concerned. Dora noticed the circles round wizard's eyes turned darker.

'I'mmm fffinne', she croaked and made a cough again.

'I'll bring you some water'.

Few second later Tonks accepted a glass.

'Better?' asked Lupin with a true care, examining her. Tonks nodded.

'I didn't know you can scare a young girl, Remus', said Sirius with a wild smile.

Tonks saw Lupin to blush. Or it was only the light from the fireplace…

'He saved my life, at least', she answered, turning back to Black. 'I could choke and you did nothing to help me! Bastard!'

Sirius continued balancing on his chair. Tonks managed to reach one of its legs and kicked it. Black lost balance and almost fell to the floor. He managed to poise at the last moment.

Nymphadora laughed. Remus caught up her joy. Black forgot to look offensive and joined them.

'Nobody doubts that, Tonks. I'm a rogue. That's why I came to Azkaban.'

They laughed again. It was so easy for Dora to stay here, inside of that dusty flat. Tonks forgot about everything for a moment. All was well…

…Until Mad-Eye appeared on the threshold.

'Lupin, Tonks, we are leaving', he said loudly. 'It's time to start the rescue mission, if you still want to participate.'

Tonks was stepping ahead feeling Remus's eyes fixed on her. Well, it was really good.

Lupin would always help her to avoid the falling.


	13. Chapter 13 Confessions

Chapter 13. Confessions

Nymphadora Tonks arrived at the Headquarters in the evening. Tired after a long working day, the witch hoped to have a little rest. She was wrong: the Weasley family seemed to organize a little party there. Dora noticed a big red poster at the kitchen. The inscription contained congratulations to Ron and Hermione with their appointment to Prefects.

'Miss Hogwarts too?'

Kingsley appeared from nowhere. Shacklebolt was in a very good mood.

'Yeah', answered Dora sarcastically.

She was experimenting with hair color again. Today the witch chose long red hair, almost like Ginny's.

Kingsley laughed.

Molly continued fussing around the kitchen, with no attention to guests. She smiled for the first time since the day Tonks has met her. Molly was happy for Ronald's appointment; she lost her usual anxiety and even turned younger.

Kids walked down the stairs quite soon. Arthur, Bill and Mundungus Fletcher joined quests few minutes later. The Weasley family looked happy and relaxed while Fletcher seemed to be suspicious and always was searching for Mad-Eye. He was obviously hiding something inside of his pockets, that's why he didn't want to take his ugly coat off.

Somebody could shame him, but Nymphadora hasn't done that. The moment was wrong. In the end, they had Moody, always prepared for any trouble. _Constant vigilance!_ Now he was examining the food trying to find poison traces.

The party was running its course. Tonks was trapped by Ronald who was eager to speak about his new shiny broom. Delighted and happy, Weasley couldn't stop talking while explaining its new possibilities. Nymphadora was listening very attentively. At least, it was better stay here, listening to Ronald than speaking with grown-up about their horrible adult problems.

Loud noise was heard from the living room.

'What's going on?' asked Mr. Weasley throwing back his neck. Half of his head was already bold.

Sirius and Remus, full of concern, examined the kitchen, searching for Harry. Potter was absent. Moody noticed that too and pointed his magical Eye to the place where the living room was situated. It rolled for a while and then stopped, pointed at the right direction.

'Stay here, I'll look what happened', said Remus in a calm voice. Tonks was impressed. She has never had such patience.

'I'll go with you', added Black, slapping Arthur on the shoulder. 'Have fun'.

The wizards left the room. Mad-Eye, who was still watching through the walls, was stumping upstairs too. Arthur hasn't noticed that. He was tired after a difficult day at work and was concerned mostly about his dinner.

'What's that?' asked Bill quietly. He was more attentive.

'It's only a boggart', answered Moody. 'I'm going upstairs in the case if they will need my help.'

Tonks felt it was something wrong about that. The whole delegation was stepping upstairs. Isn't it strange? Ronald continued talking about broom's speed, but Dora wasn't going to listen anymore. Nobody worried about Moody's words, but she knew him perfectly and could see when he was lying.

No one returned ten minutes later. Strange. Tonks managed to get rid of Ron and went to the living room. She was wondering what had happened there…

Appeared at the threshold, Tonks realized she was late. Mad-Eye was leaving the room. Harry, scared to death, was trying to leave the place unnoticed. Sirius stood not far from the door, folding hid arms on his chest. He seemed to be confused. He was pale just like he has just seen a ghost.

Remus kept hugging Molly who was blowing her nose in a lent handkerchief.

'I'm so silly', she was repeating.

Lupin and Tonks exchanged glances.

'Don't tell any word to Arthur, please…'

'Of course, Molly'.

Mr. Weasley's voice was heard again.

'Where did you go? We are finishing the chocolate cake!'

'We need to come back', Remus noticed, frowning. A long absence was very suspicious. He looked at Mrs. Weasley, his eyes full of concern. 'Molly, are you…'

'I'll go to my bedroom. I'm fine', she answered. Molly's eyes swelled from tears, she started to stammer.

'I… I…'

'I'll help you', suggested Dora and caught Molly's hand. Lupin nodded and showed Sirius to go to the door.

'What? Yeah… coming…' Just like woken up, Sirius was too slow to come back to reality. 'Let's go…'

When Molly and Dora reached the bedroom, they heard voices from downstairs. Remus, Sirius and Moody started to the play their roles trying to distract Arthur from recent problem.

'What happened?' Arthur asked.

'It's all right', said Remus in a very loud voice, sure that Molly and Dora were listening too. 'We were arguing about the boggart. Carried away a bit, that's all.'

'A bit?' asked Sirius sarcastically, and Tonks imagined him to roll up his eyes. 'You're kidding. Moody prepared the whole lecture. Nymphadora must be still taking notes, you know.'

'It's not funny', Mad-Eye interfered. 'It's so easy for you to offend the old man…'

Everyone played his role very well.

'They are so nice, especially Remus. He always cares about the others,' said Molly, rubbing her tears away. She switched on the light and entered the room. Dora froze, unaware what to do next. Bedroom is a very personal room; it's not for the guests…

Molly was so disappointed that hasn't noticed anything. She sat on the bed and continued crying. Tonks hesitated a bit, then overcame unaware and sat beside Molly.

She could see Molly's face closely for a first time since they have met. Mrs. Weasley has lost weight since they started to live here.

'What happened?'

'Great, that Remus managed to deal with the boggart. I scared everyone', Mrs. Weasley explained. 'I've tried, but he started to turn into family members… all dead…'

She lost her voice.

'Oh, Molly…'

Nymphadora tried to imagine that but she couldn't. It was such a horror. That's why everyone was so sad. They saw their friends to be dead. Harry was one of those images too, perhaps, that's why Sirius seemed to be lost. Poor Molly. The woman lived in a constant fear for her beloved. Tonks felt such a respect for her. Molly gave up everything for husband and children. She deserved to be honored for that.

'C'mon, Molly, it was only a boggart. Don't be afraid.'

Tonks hugged Mrs. Weasley, and Molly hugged her back with a clear, honest gratitude.

Molly was right. Great that Remus was here. He was the one who could stay calm in such a horrible situation. Mad-Eye doesn't count. Unable to be delicate, he could tell the whole ugly truth to Arthur immediately.

'Thank you, darling. I'm so stupid…'

'Don't say this rubbish, Molly.'

'You're so nice, stay here with me instead of enjoying the party,' Molly looked in her eyes. 'You're so young, just like my kids. You need to have fun…'

'It's ok. I haven't done anything special,' said Tonks in a cheerful tone, trying to encourage Molly. 'Moreover, they have already finished the biscuit, so…'

Molly laughed.

'And you may also help me one day, who knows', added Tonks suddenly.

Well, those words didn't sound very well. Tonks sighed. She always did something like that. Saying something stupid and regret later.

But Molly didn't notice anything at all. She patted Dora's cheeks.

'Of course, darling, any time! We all got used to you. We will always help you, don't even doubt about that.'

These words were simple, but Tonks believed in that. She might have waited for these words for years. She looked at Mrs. Weasley, becoming a child again. Tears came to her eyes, and Dora hoped Molly hasn't notice that.

Nymphadora has never met such people before: poor and simple, quite ordinary, but very close to her. People who would accept you whatever happens, the one who would always find a kind word to say. Tonks suddenly realized how much she gained when she had joined the Order.

After chatting with Molly, Dora came down the stairs. The other guests seemed not to notice anything, except Remus.

He fixed his eyes on her, just like asking: 'Is everything all right?'

Nymphadora smiled and nodded.

She suddenly became curious… what shape has Remus's boggart?

* * *

Tonks came to the Ministry after departing the kids to the railway station. Scrimgeour had questions, of course. Kingsley managed to pull it through by saying that Tonks had a necessary task to fulfill. Fortunately, Nymphadora knew how to lie on the run.

'He will keep asking questions', said Tonks when they left Scrimgeour's office.

'Agree. We need to invent something new to say. And, by the way, I'm not in a good shape. Arguing with you was so fun', Kingsley answered.

'What should I tell him then?'

'Well, you can say you're dating someone'.

Tonks rolled up her eyes.

'You're kidding me, Kingsley? That's disappointing. I really love you, you know… I mean, in the finest sense of the word. Don't break my heart!'

She tried to be serious, but nothing worked.

'Why not?' asked Shacklebolt. His earring tinkled. 'This version is so good. I was thinking about love only when I was younger. Moreover, this topic of conversation is very uncomfortable. Scrimgeour must believe you. He won't be able to find out the truth even if he tries. So you can lie whatever you want about it.'

'Great advice, thanks.'

Kingsley laughed.

The witch kept writing reports till the end of the working day and left the office among the last ones.

There were no duties for the Order today evening, so Tonks apparated to the Headquarters directly.

The house lost its life. Arthur and Molly came back to the Burrow, so uncle Sirius and Remus Lupin were the only inhabitants now.

Damn, Tonks forgot to tell mum about Sirius. _Again_. It would be better for Andromeda to find out this news from Dora, of course. Nymphadora needed to think about it too…

It was uncomfortable to stay in the empty corridor! After staying alone in the darkness, Tonks realized that nobody had noticed her to apparate. She listened and heard quiet voices heard from the kitchen. Dora went there, trying to be accurate; she hoped that horrible umbrella stand wouldn't hurt her feets. _Again._

Remus and Sirius were talking about something.

'I can't so this', Lupin's voice seemed to be forced.

'C'mon, Moony, don't be so stupid…'

 _Moony_? Tonks was surprised. She moved and finally stumbled, making a final step to the kitchen. Nymphadora overshoot few steps and fell to stony cold floor.

Lupin and Black jumped to help her. Tonks blushed. It was so awkward…

'Hello. I have just decided to visit you, so…'

Black smiled.

'You managed to stay quiet in the corridor. It's a progress, Tonks!'

'Are you all right?' asked Remus. Unlike Sirius, he guessed to ask Dora about her condition.

The wizards helped the girl to stand up.

'It's okay. I'm always like that…'

'No fractures, I hope?' Black had fun.

Lupin examined her hands carefully, looking for splinters. His hands were surprisingly soft and so warm that Tonks felt awkward again.

'No abrasions', he said finally and looked at her. 'A mistress moved out of here, so we have nothing but tea'.

'Great', she answered, smiling. 'I can help you with tea!'

Sirius laughed hoarsely.

'Oh, no, dear. Come here, take a sit.'

He came back to his chair and pulled out the neighboring one. Dora sat near.

Lupin brought a cup of tea with a box of biscuits.

'Molly left it for you. Said she had owned you sweets.'

Dora remembered their last conversation and the note about chocolate cake Tonks couldn't try. Nymphadora felt warm touching her heart. Tonks had someone to trust now... or someone who wouldn't leave you hungry, at least.

'So, how did you manage to appear here, my darling?' asked Sirius, choking his head. 'Don't think badly of me, I'm really flattered. But it's time for you to have your spare time. Dates and stuff like that, you know. What did make you come here instead?'

'Well', Tonks shrug her shoulders and gulped down her tea, 'to be honest, it's better for me to stay here than to spend time with my horrible mother.'

'Really? I remember her to be so nice', said Black with a warmth in his voice. 'People change… however, not all of us.'

He looked straight at Lupin who sat opposite them. He looked much better today. It's because of new moon, of course…

'For example, Remus continues to be the same idiot as he's always been'.

Remus sighed, trying to stay calm. Dora noticed a piece of parchment and the envelope lying near his side.

'What happened?'

'Sirius…' begged Lupin quietly, but Black didn't listen. Tonks's question just teased him.

'If you noticed, we started a nice conversation, or argument, to be correct. Our friend', he pointed at Lupin, 'got a letter from Dumbledore. The headmaster wrote to him, proposing a very good deal…'

'Really? What is that?'

'I don't want to talk about it', Lupin protested.

'Actually, Remus is a very nice guy, but time after time he looses his mind, turning into werewolf at full moon. By the way, it looks quite fascinating…'

Remus dropped his eyes.

'Full moon affects on Remus. He ails for days after it. Transformation is very painful', Sirius continued the lecture. 'It's a big loss for the Order. Remus can't work before he starts feeling better. Dumbledore thought Remus needed some kind of help.'

'So, what is that?'

Sirius pretended to shrug his shoulders.

'We found out that our bellowed Severus was going to brew up the Wolfsbane Potion, quite accidentally. It turns a werewolf into usual, normal wolf. Albus wrote Remus about it, offering him to take this potion without any payment. It would help Lupin to work more. It's an ideal plan, isn't it?'

'Of course, it is!' Dora answered. 'What's problem, then?' she asked.

'You see!' Black said to Lupin. 'Even Nymphadora supports me. What is your problem, Remus?'

Lupin pretended to examine the table top.

'Tonks doesn't understand what she is talking about. I can't…'

'I understand you, brother,' Sirius continued. 'You don't trust Snape. I can see it. Who knows what he going to brew up there…'

Dora nearly laughed.

'I can't accept it!' cried Remus suddenly.

Tonks stared at him with a shock. She has never seen Lupin to become angry. Dora couldn't believe it, and even Black stopped joking.

'I can't accept this potion. It's too expensive…'

'Who cares', Black tried to calm him down.

'I do!'

He pronounced it so loudly that Nymphadora had a desire to make few steps away.

'You will never be on my spot. I own Dumbledore too much. I have nothing to give in return!"

'Remus…'

'I'm a ragged man, remember?'

Lupin hid face in his palms. His voice was muffled.

'I'm so tired to live like that. I'm so tired. And after passing of the anti-werewolf legislation drafted by that… ugly horrible toad I will never get any normal job. What can I do now?'

Lupin looked at Sirius. His friend was amused but survived that look.

'What should I do, Sirius? What? I'm in my 30s, but I look like an old man.'

Sirius wanted to say something, but Remus stopped him.

'I know how much Albus has already done for me. He gave me a chance to study at school, meet you and James, try to become somebody… and then, after many years, when I was ready to give up, he found me and gave me the job of my dream. Dumbledore risked so much because of me. And I have no idea how to repay this debt. Tell me, Sirius, could you ask for more after all what he has done for me?'

Black was silent.

Tonks finally realized what Remus felt all this time. She could see it; she could feel… not only pity, not exactly. Remus was at the end of his tether. Of course, Dora heard about Ambridge's legislation. She considered werewolves as soulless creatures who had no right to have a job, described them to be too dangerous, too wild, creatures who didn't deserve to live...

She was hurt. Tonks saw a tired, self-denying man who decided he had no choice to have a normal life. Tonks suddenly felt anger. Remus was right, but he was wrong…

'Why not?' she asked.

Remus gave her a glance full of surprise. Dora continued.

'We realized what you wanted to say. But you should remember that Dumbledore helps you not because he feels pity for you. We need such good wizards as you. The Order needs you. Steerages disappeared again – we can't loose you too. We need you, Remus!'

Silence filled the room. Lupin gave her a piercing glance, but Nymphadora didn't give up. The Blacks' obstinacy was too strong.

'I can't', he repeated after a long pause. Sirius sighed, considering this as defeat, but Dora could notice the change in Remus's voice. She nearly stopped herself from smiling.

'I can't. I still need to hide before the beginning of transformation.'

Sirius rolled up his eyes.

'You can always have me, remember? We can hide at the attic. Just like in the days of old.'

Lupin hesitated.

'All right', he said, finally giving up. 'I don't know what how to object to you. You won.'

Brightened up, Black pat Tonks's shoulder.

'I'm so glad you have come to see us. You're my savior! Next time, when Lupin makes a scene…'

'Well, I'm not so happy about Tonks's visit', said Lupin honestly.

Remus got up and took his cup of tea. Dora and Sirius gazed at him with a surprise.

'I was out of temper', he explained. 'You shouldn't have seen that,' added Lupin, full of regret. Nymphadora turned red.

Lupin fled from the kitchen, leaving Tonks in a full shock.


	14. Chapter 14 Presents

Chapter 14. Presents

The roads were covered with snow; the ice glittered on the morning sun. Nymphadora always liked that time of year. The end of December was the time of hope, Christmas's expectation and constant, unstoppable fuss that revived even the wildest skeptic.

She decided to get up earlier today. After a short preparation, Nymphadora hurried to Diagon Alley. There were only two days until Christmas day, but Tonks hasn't bought presents yet. She even had to sacrifice her morning time that she usually spent choosing a new hair color. The girl left the room with long red hair, an image fresh in her mind.

Diagon Alley was full of snow, noticing that gave Dora relief. It gave her hope that she wouldn't stumble too much and could buy presents without being hurt or damaged. Shop windows have been decorated with garlands. Snowflakes and Christmas decorations frozen in the open air; the smell of fir was clear and fresh. The street turned into bright, colorful corridors, magical and cozy.

Tonks had found a few presents quickly. She decided to present her father a nice pocket watch. He became so absent-minded. Ted complained to his daughter about his problem with time. He always forgot his watch at home, so that gift would be very useful. Moreover, Ted could keep it with him all the time; it was not only the gift, but a part of her soul that could remind Dad about her.

It was easy to choose a present for Mom too. Dora knew Andromeda's tastes perfectly. Tonks could bet that Mom would like that old silver hairpin that Tonks had chosen for her. The shop assistant has tried to fool her, but Dora wasn't so stupid. When he realized that the young witch was an Auror, he gave her a huge discount, especially when Tonks saw the goods forbidden for sale in Britain.

Then Tonks snuck near the shop with goods for Quidditch. Having heard about the Firebolt's confiscation, she bought its little copy for Harry. He must have been very disappointed about all of that…

Finally Tonks found something special for Mad-Eye. It was a new tool kit. Unlike other presents, that one was too big and too heavy. It was difficult for her to carry it. Tonks also needed to check the kit – thrice – in the case if the kit was charmed, or Mad-Eye would never accept it. Or he could start testing it himself and spoil the whole Christmas. Moody established the whole list of strange, but clear rules, and Tonks had to deal with it.

Still thinking about presents, Tonks hasn't noticed the last step of the shop's porch and stumbled. All joy vanished into thin air. She was going to fall in a nearer snowdrift. The witch screwed up her face, protecting her eyes against the cold ice.

Nothing happened. Her heart was pounding, her brain lost thoughts. What happened? She should have fallen, right?

The puzzle was solved when someone helped Dora stand up. Tonks opened her eyes. It was Remus Lupin. He stood in front of her, smiling.

"You saved me again!" she said and hugged the wizard. Lupin was confused. He hugged her back, but let go of the girl too quickly. Remus offered his help at carrying Moody's present.

"Let me help you", he said in a very calm voice, taking the parcel. It appeared to be very heavy. Lupin looked at Tonks, surprised.

Nymphadora laughed.

"That's for Mad-Eye", she explained. "A new tool kit. Magical one, of course. He doesn't trust anyone, spends a lot of time inside of his house, repairing something. And he complained of leg pain. It's because of that prosthesis…"

Lupin smiled. He looked so healthy now. Constant circles under his eyes vanished, and today, he looked younger than usual. It surprised Nymphadora, in a way. He wasn't old, not at all, but…

"Moody has always been like that", Remus answered. He returned to his old memories, to the time of the first Wizarding War. Tonks couldn't remember it. She was a child at that time.

"But, to be honest, he didn't test food for poisons at the time when we met, as I recall…"

Both of them laughed.

"Are you searching for presents too?" Tonks asked.

Remus nodded. "I'm going to the bookstore. Sirius and I have been thinking about the present for Harry…"

Nymphadora felt awkward. They must be preparing one gift, because Lupin was jobless at the moment. It wasn't his fault, of course, but Tonks felt bad. She hid her eyes. Dora hoped Remus wouldn't notice her shame, but she forgot about her unique gift. Her hair started changing its color immediately, reflecting her mood. Tonks' emotions were too strong.

Remus noticed it, frowned and finally understood. Dora was pretending to examine her boots. She was blushing as a young schoolgirl; Tonks didn't know how to stop it.

But Remus knew. He smiled again. If Dora raised her eyes, she would notice that his smile was a bit weary.

"It's all right, don't worry", he said. Lupin wasn't angry with Nymphadora. He stood, waiting for her to look at him. "And I have some money, by the way. Christmas time feeds everyone who wants to get a job. We have a different reason for choosing one gift. Sirius has to stay inside of the house, so…"

Her hair color returned to normal. Lupin sighed, relieved. They could forget about that strange awkward moment, deleting it from their memories.

"So, what did you choose for Harry?" Tonks asked, making a step to the bookstore's side. They needed to change the subject.

"Why do you think that idea was mine?" Lupin asked, frowning.

"How could Sirius suggest buying a book? What a funny joke, Remus!"

Lupin smiled again. It was a new habit of him, to smile. Remus has always been reserved and melancholic, but when Dora joked, he couldn't resist her. Dora was so charming. And Nymphadora just called his name, it sounded so usual, so comforting, so distracting. _Remus_ …

Tonks noticed Lupin's confusion, but Lupin removed his eyes, afraid to meet her stare.

After a short hesitation Tonks offered her help. Lupin agreed. Remus and Dora were searching for books about defensive magic. After a long intensive search they have found a nice detailed edition, "Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use against the Dark Arts".

"Looks very impressive", whispered Dora. "I think it's exactly what Harry needs!"

She noticed something special in Remus, something he always tried to hide. It was full, sincere care about Harry. The boy took a special place in Lupin's heart. When they paid for the books and left the store, Tonks asked about it accurately. Remus was in a very good mood and wasn't afraid to speak frankly.

"He's like a son to me. I met James and Lily when I was eleven. Harry is very much like them, although he doesn't know it. I miss them all the time', he confessed. The pain appeared at Lupin's face. 'But Harry's pain is much stronger than mine. He doesn't even remember them! So I have to do everything I can and try to help him."

Dora hung on to Remus's words. It was the right time to listen. When Lupin finished his little story, they continued to go in silence. Then Remus shook his head.

"Sorry. We haven't spoken about you. What do you like? Except Quidditch and music, of course."

Tonks blushed.

"'How did you know that?"

They walked at the road, close to each other, their hands almost touched. It didn't matter where to go next. They moved ahead, enjoying the conversation.

"Well, I managed to learn all prints on your T-shirts", said Remus with a new smile.

Nymphadora laughed.

"You're right. Unfortunately, I stopped watching Quidditch games. I don't have time for that anymore. But I still like music. I took my old gramophone to my room at the Leaky Cauldron."

Tonks noticed his stare and froze. Remus must have been laughing at her. There were strange sparkles seen inside of his blue eyes. Dora has never noticed them before.

"What?" she asked, suddenly offended. "Do you think it's silly? What's about you, then? Don't you like music?"

Lupin threw up his hands, giving up.

"I didn't want to offend you. Of course, I love music too. While working at Hogwarts, I was taking my gramophone to the lessons. It helped kids to adapt for the work."

Nymphadora accepted his apologies, and the pair continued walking.

'I have never known it's allowed to do so! You've got a talent for teaching, really!"

Remus shrugged.

"I'm not sure it's a real talent. But my mother loved music deeply. She has been listening to Sinatra's Christmas album every year…"

" _Sinatra?"_ Tonks asked. "What is that?"

Lupin frowned, but didn't laugh at her. He kept being calm and delicate, as he always was. He must have been looking exactly the same when Hogwarts students gave wrong answers at his lessons.

"He's a singer. My Mom was a muggle", he explained. "She saved a lot from her past life."

"Oh…" Tonks was surprised. "Great. I didn't know that!"

Dora was glad to find out more about Remus.

"Is his music beautiful?"

They stopped. Lupin looked up and noticed the Leaky Cauldron's signboard.

"I think we arrived at the right place?"

Dora nodded. She felt disappointed that their walk was going to its end.

Lupin passed her the parcel. Dora couldn't invite him to her room, of course. It would be inappropriate. Mom would die if she found out about that.

But it was Remus, and their conversation was so nice… Tonks sighed.

Lupin smiled.

"You'll hear his wonderful songs", he promised.

They said awkward goodbyes to each other. Dora returned to her room. She was thinking about the present for Remus now. She needed to find something special for him, definitely. But what could it be? Something simple. Remus wouldn't accept anything expensive.

She chose presents hoping that people would remember her when they looked at her gifts. What could remind Remus about Nymphadora? He was so kind to her, so understanding, just as if he could read her thoughts. Tonks's present should be nice and warm…

 _Warm_ … A sudden idea flashed into Dora's mind.

When Remus woke up in the morning, he found an unexpected present. He saw a box, wrapped in such a bright wrapper that he had to blink. Lupin found a warm sweater inside of it. Remus smiled. There was no note left, but the wrapper's color spoke for itself.

Tonks got a present too. She found a gramophone record of Christmas songs performed by Frank Sinatra.

Remus was right. Sinatra's music turned out to be absolutely magical.


	15. Chapter 15 More than a friend

Chapter 15. More than a friend

 _The end of 1995 - the beginning of 1996_

Kids were preparing to return to Hogwarts and someone needed to accompany them to the railway station. Dumbledore made his choice quickly, without hesitation.

"We need to send two or three wizards, no more," he announced, appearing at the Headquarters in the middle of the night. "Students had to go through too many difficulties. Chaos will make everything worse. Moreover, we need to remember about Fudge – he's watching us."

Sirius's tired pale face reflected his pain and despair. New circles began to form under his eyes. White as a sheet, he was listening to the Headmaster quietly. Tonks guessed that her relative was holding his own, but it wasn't going to last forever. When Harry returned to the school, and the whole Weasley family went home too, Sirius would be left here alone, surrounded by his own dark thoughts. Dora knew what he would do. Black would try to drown all the darkness in a glass of wine.

Remus knew that too. He was staring at his best friend, worried. Lupin was absent more often now. His occupation reminded him of the First Wizard War. But then, 14 years ago, Sirius was a different man. He was happy to appear in the middle of the danger. And, even having felt sorry for the Potters, Black still couldn't know what they felt. Now Black lived in James and Lily's shoes. Locked inside the house he hated, Sirius was ready to levitate in the air if it could help him to hide from the darkness.

Of course, Sirius had no chance to accompany Harry. In spite of that, Dumbledore paused, waiting for his answer. Sirius nodded, accepting Albus's idea.

"Yeah, we shouldn't create the whole delegation. But it would be great to send somebody trustworthy…"

Sirius looked at Lupin hopefully. Black had no friends except for Harry and Remus.

"Good idea," Dumbledore answered, nodding. His long beard trembled. The headmaster began walking across the kitchen absent-mindedly, like he walked in his office. There was a quiet rustling of Albus's purple cloak heard in the room.

"I think Remus is a good choice. But we should send someone else with him if we will have to throw someone off the trail."

"No problem," Dora said. Christmas time was quiet, and the girl had already been bored. Moreover, she liked to work with Remus.

"But you need to warn Shacklebolt!" she added quickly. "We planned to make a scene in the Auror office. Tell him not to wait for me."

The Headmaster's glasses reflected the light from the fireplace. Albus's wise old face softened.

"A careless youth. Isn't it beautiful?" he asked, looking at Nymphadora. Tonks smiled. She had never been afraid of the Headmaster, but… he seemed to predict everybody's thoughts.

Dora and Remus talked after the council, discussing an upcoming mission.

"We should avoid the Leaky Cauldron. It's overcrowded," said Remus. Dora nodded.

"You're right. There are so many strangers here now. They look very suspicious. Let's meet at the Diagon Alley, in front of a shop window. No one can notice us."

"How will I know you?" Lupin asked, frowning.

Tonks smiled.

"I'll choose something unusual," she wanted to surprise him. Tonks hadn't made her choice yet. Dora kept a few variants of disguise inside of her mind, but she needed some time for preparation. As a metamorph, the girl could change her appearance, but she needed to find new clothes.

Remus didn't like her answer, but he nodded regardless. She smiled. Lupin trusted her. That was great, wasn't it?

A woman in an old-fashioned tweed dress left the Leaky Cauldron in the early morning. Her grey hair glittered in the frosty light. She was trying to walk like a real lady, every step accurate and slow, but seemed to dislike it. She seemed to hate her low speed, her accurate steps and her shoes on high heel which didn't allow her to run. The lady looked displeased. And weird. She was stepping cautiously, wrinkling her nose as if she had to overcome some invisible barrier.

Remus stayed in the middle of the crowd which was examining a new shiny Firebolt. Lupin pretended to examine it thoroughly; he was turning his head, trying to see as much as possible. In reality, he wasn't staring at the broom at all. The showcases were clean, so Remus could see everything in its reflection.

He noticed the old lady soon. There was nothing special about her. The tweed dress she wore looked old, but accurate. The lady looked ordinary. Lupin switched on other wizards in the crowd, searching for Nymphadora. He needed to find her. Somebody was definitely waiting for them here. Remus felt someone's stare on him. Remus thought he was missing something…

A few different things happened unexpectedly. The old lady grimaced. Remus frowned, noticing that. He saw something familiar in that grimace. Then Lupin noticed a figure in a dark road cloak moving directly to the lady's side. It was Yaxley, and if Tonks was pretending to be that woman, he could suspect something…

The lady stumbled. The heel on her shoe cracked. It was Nymphadora, and she could be exposed right now. Yaxley was getting closer. Having talked to a colleague, he hadn't noticed the strange lady yet, but she was so close to him…

Remus ran forward, rounding Yaxley from his right and caught the lady before she fell.

"Let me help you," he said politely in case if someone had been listening.

Everything happened very fast. Remus held Tonks's hand and led the girl to a dark tiny alley where they could hide.

"Remus…" she whispered, but Lupin showed her to be quiet. They clung to the brick wall, trying to disappear in the darkness. A few seconds later the dark figure appeared right by their side. Even if Yaxley noticed anything, he hadn't recognized anybody. The alley was too narrow and dark. Two silhouettes were all he could see.

Lupin let out a breath of relief. Only now did he notice the frightened Tonks beside him. She was breathing heavily. Anxious, Dora returned to her usual features. Remus saw a young girl with pink gum hair again. A young girl wearing tweed.

Tonks took a deep breath and finally looked at Remus.

"Damn it. I really screwed up!"

"It's okay," he whispered suddenly. Lupin felt nor anger or hate. It wasn't Tonks's fault.

"No sure about that," Dora shook her head. "If Yaxley noticed me…"

"It's all right," they continued whispering. "Nobody caught us. That's all what we needed. Don't worry."

They stood so close to each other. Remus's glance seemed to be so tangible, so real, that Tonks blushed. Dora could examine every wrinkle on Remus's face. He had to go through so many difficulties, and these traces were the part of his memory. Tonks saw clear lines near his lips; Remus laughed, even during hard times. Tonks imagined Lupin's smile immediately - polite, sometimes forced, but always open and kind. She suddenly decided on stretching out her hand and touching his lips. She was wondering if…

Remus's hoarse voice woke Dora up.

"We need to go," he said.

Nymphadora shivered and looked around. They still stood there, in the alley between two buildings. Remus kept holding her hand.

Dora nodded.

"Can we apparate from here?" she asked nervously. After some hesitation Remus agreed. A few seconds later Lupin and the old lady appeared on the 12 Grimmauld Place.

Neither Remus nor Dora talked after that. They had a job to do. Kids delayed with goodbyes till the very end. Nymphadora was angry. Everything made her feel nervous, she has tried to concentrate on her job, but nothing worked. Tonks envied Remus so much! Even if Lupin found the moment between them to be awkward, he didn't show it anyhow. He was so patient! Why had she never had that advantage? Tonks shook her head, thinking about that. Maybe, her mother was right, and Dora really needed to grow up.

Tonks was checking everyone who glanced at Harry or his friends. Everything annoyed her. Tonks was angry at everyone, including herself. That awkward moment was boiling inside of her head, and Dora had no idea how to escape from these thoughts. Remus saved her again. Saved from the falling, saved from breaking the leg, saved from being discovered by Yaxley. And then they got stuck there, in that tiny alley, and he was so close, and she felt like a stupid teenager...

Remus called the Knight Bus. Tonks let off some steam by shouting at pimpled Stan Shunpike. They divided in the bus; Tonks took a seat near Hermione. That neighborhood made Dora think about something else. Tonks suddenly realized how strange she was today. Dora didn't differ from a teenager now. She was incapable of dealing with her own feelings.

Tonks managed to pull herself together only when they reached their destination.

Hogsmeade. After taking suitcases out of the bus, they began saying goodbyes. Dora hugged Ginny and Hermione. She had gotten used to girls quickly, and she had never had real friends, so…

"Take care of yourself," Dora whispered. Nobody was watching them now, so Dora created the whole show by changing her hair color. A bright shiny rainbow.

Kids laughed, watching it. Well, that was much better.

"Umbridge is awful, I know, but promise me not to lay open to problems," Tonks said to Ron, when it came his turn to say goodbye. The boy's ears turned red.

"I never try to find trouble," he mumbled. "It finds me without any help."

"That was said for you too!" Dora pointed at twins who tried to sneak away quietly. "Behave yourself!"

"Actually, we behave ourselves all the time!" George pointed out.

"I see that," Tonks glanced at twins' pockets, full of their new inventions. Remus must have noticed toys too, but hadn't told them a word. Fred and George grinned.

Nymphadora smiled. Tonks shook her head and returned to Hermione and Ginny. In the end, she had no right to judge twins. Their toys were cool…

Kids waved them and rolled suitcases to the Hogwarts' gates. Remus helped Dora climb in the bus that was waiting for them to leave.

"What a malicious old lady!" Stan Shunpike complained to Lupin. He hadn't noticed a hair rainbow. "Haughty one, I'd say."

Remus smiled, but didn't reply.

Lupin and Tonks sat together, remaining silent. Tonks used that moment to stare at Remus, examining him again. Tired, Lupin closed his eyes, hiding from her, but Dora wasn't shy anymore. She was staring at him, trying to read Lupin's thoughts.

He wasn't so old, actually. Remus and Sirius were of the same age, both in their middle thirties. Remus had always looked very trustworthy. But Remus had something else, some unreadable power hidden inside of his eyes. Something he was always trying to hide from her. Tonks often caught him, watching her stealthily, but Remus always removed his eyes from the girl when noticed her stare. She didn't take it seriously until today. It was different now.

What if he liked her? Tonks's stomach turned after thinking about it. Her anxiety had returned. Tonks was watching Lupin, realizing that, he was probably more that a friend to her now.

The trip back appeared to be too fast. Remus and Dora left the Knight Bus at Diagon Alley and then apparated to Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore had already known about kids' arrival, but Sirius and the Weasley family still waited for the news.

"I want to say something before we go," confessed Remus.

Lupin was holding Tonks' arm, trying to stop the girl. But it wasn't needed. Dora's heart was going to jump out of her chest. Tonks froze, staring at Remus.

"I wanted to apologize," he said unexpectedly. "I must have scared you then, in that alley…"

Tonks breathed out. She began to realize what was going on. Lupin continued imagining himself as a horrible monster.

"I just wanted to say that I didn't mean to offend or scare you," he finished, and Tonks noticed bright sadness glittering on Remus's face.

"It's okay," she forced herself to say. Tonks wanted to say that Remus shouldn't have worried about his illness. She wanted to say that everything was alright, but…

… that morning was strange, and Tonks continued standing in front of Lupin, silent, unable to speak.

Her answer seemed to please Remus. He came to his own conclusions about everything.

Lupin nodded.

"Well," his voice made Tonks swim out of her thoughts, "shall we go inside, then?" he asked.

Dora nodded awkwardly. Everything was happening too fast, and she had no time to think over the situation. But she knew she didn't like it at all.

All that turned out to be much more difficult than Tonks had ever imagined.


End file.
